Colossians 1:9-10

THAT YOU MAY BE FILLED WITH KNOWLEDGE OF HIS WILL,
IN ALL SPIRITUAL WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING, SO THAT
YOU MAY WALK WORTHILY OF GOD AND PLEASE HIM IN ALL THINGS.
THIS INCLUDES BEARING GOOD FRUITS IN ALL GOOD DEADS, GROWING
IN THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOD AND BEING STRENGTHENED IN ALL WAYS
WITH HIS GLORIOUS POWER. THAT WAY YOU WILL PERSEVERE
WITH PATIENCE IN ALL SITUATIONS.
Colossians 1:9-10

I have been pondering on this verse a lot. Some people do not understand how I managed to come and leave my children behind (I myself wonder at times...)
I guess the only answer I can give is the fact that I was sure it was God's will. And the amount of peace that I have to carry out with this project comes out from exactly that...it is His will. Since I have the assurance it is God's will then I was able to obey (a walk worthily of God), I cannot talk of the good fruits yet...they will come in the future. But yes definitely I have grown in my knowledge of God through the whole process. I understand and know Him in a way that I would not have ever understood unless I had obeyed and left my kids behind...and the most amazing thing, yes I am being strenghtened in a tremendous way.
AND I am persevering in my present situation.

Not only has may knowledge of God himself has expanded, but my understanding of His misterious way has also expanded.
I no longer grow in panic because my life "isn't how it is supposed to be"
I have gotten to understand that pain is part of life and it is part of a good life.
I have been a witness to how a tense and most difficult situation can be used in God's hand to provide healing and strength.
I have understood that His will is not similar to Walt Disney movies, His will often has pain and tension, but that one can walk in peace and strenghthened in an amazing way.
I no longer pray ordering God around. "God do this, and change so and so, and give me money and tell me where to go"
I now pray "Father, I humbly come to you, seeking to understand your will and
strength to obey"
I no longer fall apart when I do not have the control of a situation, I may cry but I do not fall apart.
I no longer see a situation as "if God doesn´t do something to make things easier, I will not last one minute longer!"
I now see the storm ahead, take a deep, deep breath and say:
If this is YOUR will it must be good,
I accept your will, just give me the strength.
And the wisdom to see where I must step next.

I must add that if the storm ahead is not His will then I do spiritual warefare. But definitely a lot of the storms are in His control.
I will probably get to the point of not only accepting them storms, but I will also enjoy them, knowing of the beautiful fruits that come forth after such a storm.

"Father, we humbly come to you,
seeking your will and asking for the strength to obey.
May you kingdom come, your will be done,
In Jesus' name amen."

Hebrews 12: 5

MY SON NEGLECT NOT THE DISCIPLINE OF THE LORD.
Hebrews 12:5

As we speak of drawing near to God, of passion for Jesus and all of that we forget to mention the discipline of God. We do.
Of course I wonder how I would have reacted if somebody had told me "the fastest way to get closer to God is by accepting His discipline." Maybe I even did hear it some time or the other...but I quickly pushed such an idea aside.
I could pray for hours, fast for days, go out on mission trips and all of that...but accept His discipline?
I accepted only the necessary amount that would make me seem spiritual before others. And humans loved to play the game along with me. I do not really believe I totally fooled everybody, some yes. But others chose to relax and not make a big fuss. I cannot judge, but I largely suspect that it was out of an unspoken agreement:
"I will not confront you, but remember not to confront me"
Yet others, the wiser ones, just stepped aside because they saw my pride and new it would be a waste of time trying to correct me. "Let God and life give her the necessary blows to make her teachable, then we shall talk," they were smart.
I was self indulging with my own stubborness, rebelliousnes and pride...all along thinking I was so cool, since I had outsmarted God and the system. What a laugh.
In a year of opening my heart to God's correction I have changed soooo much (my mom still thinks there is a lot to be done, and I agree- but I have changed a lot)
Now as I accept the fact that I will be used to disciple others, I have some clear thoughts, yes we need to be willing to obey God and leave everything to serve Him if that is what He should demand....BUT first some habits have to be cultivated.
And the first one would be this:
DO NOT NEGLECT THE DISCIPLINE OF GOD

I have gotten to the point of understanding that His discipline is good, it is healing, and it brings forth life...abundant life. We cannot preach on abundant life without touching God's discipline.
And we must learn to have "one to one" talks with God, for He alone will not be fooled by our hearts. I can fool you, and you can fool me, but neither of us can fool God.
So where do I start if I truly want to be a light onto the nations?
Open your Bible and open your heart to receive God's discipline.

NO! Please do not tell me you have done it and are ready for instruction number 2, that would only prove you have not yet understood the profoundity of number 1.

Stop, my friend, stop and DO NOT NEGLECT THE DISCIPLINE OF GOD.

Hebrews 8:14

FOR THIS IS THE COVENANT THAT I WILL MAKE
....AFTER THOSE DAYS, SAYS THE LORD:
I WILL PUT MY LAWS INTO THEIR MIND AND UPON
THEIR HEARTS I WILL WRITE THEM...
Hebrews 8:14

Some people do not understand my obsession for a new heart. Most hear me and then point to the cross, grace and the santification process.
What I can´t seem to make them grasp is that I do understand these concepts BUT that last year my eyes were opened to a terrifying truth:
For 40 years I had used those concepts to stop God's work in my heart.
I did not use them to draw near God seeking that heart described above. A heart which is imprinted with God's law.
What does that mean? It means one's heart pumps the law of God throughout the whole body. In your very veins the law of God nurtures your patterns of thought and your smallest reactions...love God and love thy neighbor.
Such is the heart God desires. Such was His ambition when Jesus went to the cross.
I would say "I am not under the law, because I am under the new covenant, a much better covenant"...nice words "If you see sin in my life, well just understand that I am on the santification process"...right words.
The problem was that I was not really on the santification process. I was not really allowing God to deal with sin in my heart.
All along the only thing I had done was to mortify sin, to set limits to sin. But nothing more.
In Hebrews 10 it speaks of why the sacrifices had to be done,over and over and over again:
Because they can NEVER make perfect the ones
that give them.

As I read that scripture I thought, that is me, I haven´t changed (not inside)I keep going up to God, "sorry, again" and that is all. It is good to find forgiveness...but what about the change?
Then I understood why Hebrews 9:14 was so important:
HOW MUCH MORE WILL THE BLOOD OF CHRIST,...,
CLEANSE YOUR CONSCIENCE FROM THE WORKS
THAT DRIVE YOU TO DEATH...

THAT was God's intention from the start. Not only forgiveness but real honest to goodness change.
"Bea, you have been in the church all your life and you hadn't understood this? Beatriz Gasca THAT is the gospel...what have you been preaching?"
Well, that is why God called me a hypocrite. I preached the gospel but had never really let it sink down into my heart.
(how embarrasing having to admit it in public...)
I loved my sin more than God, so I hung onto my sin and limited God.
Awesome God, patient God, faithful God...He...wow

40 years I have lived in such a shameful way.
1 year I was confronted by God.
Now I am giving all to catch up...I need a new heart.

Let me add one more key factor. When I saw all this I realized that I did not really believe I could be a new creation, I did not really believe the change could be that deep...to reach to my heart.
God and I had a serious one to one talk. "Lord, do you understand how serious this is? You call me hypocrite, but then if I do not get a new heart-if You cannot create me anew- well then I will have to stop preaching and teaching your word."
Lord knew how serious things were. He did not smile, He looked straight into my face and said "Beatriz Gasca, I want you to listen and listen well. If you do not allow me to give you a new heart, then I want you to stop preaching and teaching my word."
Now, do you begin to understand my compulsion for a new heart?
It goes beyond that, God also made me understand once and for all that if I did not change I would not have the authority to proclaim change to others, then I would merely be proclaiming a moral life with different colors, and He wasn't interested in that. People of most religions preach on a moral life, good deads and peace unto others. Why be a missionary? Why sacrifice so much...to say basically the same thing? (live a moral life)
"No Bea, if such is the case I rather you leave people alone.Let them live under their societies in peace...just leave them alone"
I do not know if I can find words to describe the impact that these words had on me...
all I can say is:
I NEED A NEW HEART
and I cannot wait another 40 years to see if I get it.
I cannot and will not use Bible verses to stop God's discipline, God's confrontation, God's dealing in my life. NOT ANYMORE. I have done it enough, and enough is enough.

One last thing. Important thing.
If I am writing this it is because I have seen how God has had the power and wisdom and courage and strenght and love and care and so many things more...TO Deal with my heart.
I do see change in my heart. We still have a long ways to go, but we have done a lot. So this is why I now bodly write out:
The blood of Jesus can purify a heart.

Hebrews 13:20-21

NOW MAY THE GOD OF PEACE,
WHO ROUGHT FORTH FROM THE DEAD THE GREAT PASTOR
OF THE SHEEP, OUR LORD JESUS,IN VIRTUE OF THE
BLOOD OF AN EVERLASTING COVENANT,FIT YOU WITH
EVERY GOOD THING TO DO HIS WILL; WORKING IN YOU
THAT WHCH IS WELL PLEASING IN HIS SIGHT, THROUGH
JESUS CHRIST, TO WHOM IS GLORY FOREVER AND EVER.
AMEN.
Hebrews 13:20-21

I mean read that Bible verse again!!! Wow! where do I start?!?
We often speak of "THE GOOD NEWS", these are the good news:
We are sinners.
God loves us but hates sin.
He gave all, and expects us to give all.
He demands that we be holy as He is holy.
IT IS POSSIBLE TO OBEY GOD = good news!

How?
If we humble ourselves before Him, and acknowledge we are not gods, accepting our humanity and sinful nature- then we have access to God.
Then we can plead on the blood of an everlasting covenant. Let me try to give you a picture of what this means.

In Leviticus you can read about all the animal sacrifices that had to be done, sheeding their blood and presenting it before God was God´s command, it was the prescribed way to find forgiveness from sin. But animal´s blood only found forgiveness -better than nonthing, but here is the GOOD NEWS of the NEW COVENANT:
We can find forgiveness
AND CHANGE
through the blood of the Lamb.

Jesus is called the Lamb of God. We did not even have to present our own children, God gave His son.
When His blood was shed it was presented before God...do not rush. Stop and try to think what happened in Heaven, before the throne of God, before the Father.
The scripture tell us that here on earth darkness filled the sky. stop, breath, think...what was going on?
Jesus had taken our sins, and had become unpresentable before God- and God´s wrath fell upon Him. The Father turned away. Jesus cried "Father, Father, why have you forsaken me!"
Now, the Blood of The Lamb is being presented before the Father. The blood that asks for forgiveness from sin. My sin, your sin.

I personally think that Jesus went to the cross for a greater love than the love for me and you. It hurts my ego a bit, but I believe that He did it more than anything out of love for His Dad.
I think He saw Dad´s pain, and left all comfort behind. All personal ambitions and all personal desires. He accepted the plan of becoming a man and taking the cross, out of deep earnest love for Dad.

And you know what I think. I think that when Jesus´ blood was presented before the Father, the Father felt all that love. I think it was a huge "I love you Dad, You are the greatest of all" present. Given to Him by His only son. His favorite. The delight of His heart.
I think God´s heart melted,and He chose not only to honor that blood by giving all who plead on Jesus' blood forgiveness, but He had to do something more to honor such blood, such sacrifice, such love.
I think God was silent, just allowing the fragance of such love fill the whole universe and His own heart.
The Father gently rocked, back and forth, back and forth, sipping it all in..."what love, what love my son has for me!"
I honestly think He forgot about you and me for that fraction of time. Such deep love, just makes you forget the world, the universe...all.
Then came the moment when God had to come down from the cloud and then He remembered you and I and His son's sacrifice.
Do you know God could have rejected the sacrifice? yep it was a huge possiblility- it was His choice. He could have weighted all humanity's sin and decided that that sacrifice was just not enough.
But by now you know why it was enough. SUCH FRAGANT LOVE, PASSIONATE AND HUMBLE LOVE, SUCH SWEETNESS, SUCH TENDERNESS: "DADDY, I LOVE YOU,
YOU ARE THE GREATEST OF ALL!"
So, if we had any hint that perhaps God accepted that sacrifice for any of our beauty...forget it, our sin outweighs our beauty...it was Jesus' love that conquered the victory...for you and for me.
Father looked at our big brother's blood, knodding and thinking deeply He took His pen and wrote:
I hereby make a resolution that anybody who pleads the blood of my son, will not only be forgiven but will also be fitted to do MY will and I will work in this person that which is well pleasing in My sight.

And then He sealed the covenant,
with the blood of The Lamb.

I can change, I can plead on the blood of an everlasting covenant, and I can be pleasing to God,
That is The Good News!

Luke 2:34-35

BEHOLD, THIS CHILD IS DESTINED FOR THE FALL
AND FOR THE RISE OF MANY IN ISRAEL,
AND FOR A SIGN THAT SHALL BE CONTRADICTED...
THAT THE THOUGHTS OF MANY HEARTS MAY BE
REVEALED.
Luke 2:34-35

This child is referred to Jesus. I really don´t know if Mary and Joseph understood such a prophesy.

A sign that shall be contradicted...that means that Jesus would creat opposition.
I bet that is not the type of picture you have of Jesus. Well, that is what He did and continues to do. He creates opposition.
What for? it says right there:
to reveal the thoughts, the intentions of many hearts.

It is true. At least it is in my life. A lot of God contradicts my lifestyle. Ouch.
The worse part is that it does reveal my own heart.
He contradicts me and my most inmediate reaction is rebellion. I find ways of decorating it, but my heart is revealed...a sick heart, in need of a saviour.
God on the cross. It goes against all our brain cells. Who wants a God like that? That loves humility and embraces weakness?
And then He adds:
"Bea Gasca, pick up your cross and follow me"

Rebellion just pops out..."Look, since I am more religious than most people I will be nice enough to follow you...but with no cross, I am to thin to carry anything, ok?"

DESTINED TO CAUSE THE FALL OF MANY

We are commanded to live as He lived.
Do we make people´s brain have some type of storm?
Not because we have some type of stickers or something of the sort...but because as we carry our cross others wonder about it, are confused about it, and are confronted with it.
I define carrying one´s cross as 100% obedience to God.
I do not see it as accepting all the offenses that come my way. There are different ways to handle offense and persecution. Yes, Jesus said to turn the other cheeck, but many times He would go from that group of people, and other times He answered back...the trick is to learn when to do what. And that comes from a very close realationship with the Father...that is why Jesus would pray very early before starting His day.
A SIGN THAT SHALL BE CONTRADICTED.
A sign that would create great opposition.

Did you ever see Jesus this way?
or did you always see Him as the one who loved and therefore was loved?
I invite you to meditate on this, just chew on it for a while, and then read the rest of the book of Luke, under this perspective...it will blow your mind.

I John 1:6

IF WE SAY THAT WE HAVE FELLOWSHIP WITH
HIM AND WALK IN DARKNESS, WE LIE.
I John 1:6

In another version it says:
THE ONE THAT SAYS HE IS IN HIM,
SHOULD LIVE AS HE LIVED.

I tell people to read the Bible...eventhough I know they will find these verses, and that they will often discourage them. But any other type of christianity is like a hot air ballon...empty.
This is the truth. This is what God expects of us. Nothing less. He expects us to walk as Jesus walked on earth.
I love reading about His walk on earth. I stop and look at every detail. Why did He do that? Why did He take that man out of town before healing him? How did he react when persecuted?
Did you know that He rested?
Did you know that He defended His disciples from the critics of the religious leaders of His time, but He himself would really be rough with them sometimes?
Did you know that He did not mind crying in public?
Did you know that He was not a coward, that He would confront people head on?
Did you know that at times He retired to be alone?
Did you know He liked picknics?
Did you know that He called His disciples "my sons"?

There are too many movies of Jesus now days, each portraying the authors perspective of Him. But I think it is a dangerous thing to accept this movies as truth...expecially since we have a command to walk as He walked when He was on earth.
So I suggest you read Mathew, Mark, Luke and John. And do it regularly. Look closely at Him, observe His every move.
And as you do, remember the command:
LIVE AS HE LIVED.

Acts 8:31

"Why, how can I understand,
unless someone shows me?"
Acts 8:31

This is a sincere question of a man that was reading the Bible. This morning I wanted to share some Bible verses as I read the passages I suddenly realized that one of the persons would not understand them...what a strong reality to face.
I can read through this pages, as easily as most people flip a magazine...but for so many it is complex. Words like redeem, covenant, restore...what do they mean?
somebody once told another person "well, if you can´t understand the Bible it is because you are reading a letter that was not sent to you" OUCH.
I am glad I never met that person...I honestly think I would have ...Never mind... How easily do we wash our hands from the responsability of reaching out.
The Bible encourages, guides, cleanses, transforms, and draws us near God. This is why so many people have devoted their lives into translating it into different languages.
My mom has a Bible, it is in spanish, but very old spanish. I cannot understand it.
How thankful I am for them people that have spent hours into printing the Bible I now have in my lap.
It has been the Bible that has transformed me all these years. God has spoken to me through it, and has kept me company in my darkest moments through it.
The Bible is a gift from God.
but do you know that many people do not understand it?
Who will teach them how to understand it?

I once had a student. After my continued insistence he arrived to class with good news "Bea, you will be glad...I bought a Bible!"
Then he started to read it. And came to class rather shocked with the stories in the old testament
"I had never expected to read THAT in the Bible...I mean that guy went out to find a prostitute!"
I only smiled.
Then he came in another day. "I am upset with you, because an old lady just told me that the right way to study the Bible was by reading the new testament first...or else I may get dismayed because the old testament is so rough!"
I only smiled.
Then he returned a couple of days later: "Bea!!!
I was reading Mathew, and Jesus...I mean he is real rough!"
Yes, He is. I guess this is why we do not teach people to read the Bible. We do not want them to drop out from church. It is a fact, when Jesus spoke there came a time when tons of people turned back saying "these is a hard message, who can stand it?"
So why do I insist in people reading it???
Because it is the only way to grow up as a son of God. With no Bible, people never grow. The first storm comes into their lives and they are gone and gone for good. "God did not hear my prayer...chau!"

This is why I insist you read your Bible. It will help you grow up. I often tell people...do not worry about what you do not understand...worry about what you do understand!!
My friend, how I wish I could be by your side and explain the word covenant. How I wish I could show you that Moses was first and years later Jesus came around. How I wish that I could sit by your side and show you how to look the verses up...this is a chapter, and this is a verse.
But I can´t, cause I am so far. so I write these studies in hope that you will get some light and in hope that you will see that opening your Bible is not at all hard.
And I pray that God may give you understanding
of the things you read. He is a good teacher.
Trust HIM, but please open your Bible and read!

and I pray that once you do understand, you will take the time, to show someone else how to read it, remembering that time, when for you it was hard.

John 11:43

WHEN HE HAD SAID THIS,
HE CRIED OUT WITH A LOUD VOICE,
"LAZARUS,COME FORTH!"
John 11:43

Life and death. Topics that are full of mistery, studied by philosophers and spoken by all, but enjoyed by only a few.
We don´t know how to live.
We don´t know how to die.

Life and death...crucial parts of our existence. We face them everyday, and yet we still have no idea of how to handle them.
Life, we understand it so little and complain about it a lot- yet when faced by death our reaction it to cling to life!
Death, we understand even less of this non avoidable issue of our earthly existence...few even dare to mention it out loud.

Please read this passage complete, there is so much to it, but I have no time to talk about it all (I feel this way about every single passage in the Bible).
"LAZARUS IS DEAD"
John 11:14

Today I want to stop here, in death. Jesus reaction is so strange. His friend is dead...and he mentiones it without tears, and he adds "I am glad"...???
Once again I will speak of things unwritten. But in hope that this reflections will bring a different perspective into your way of thought.
I believe Lazarus was glad too. Life here on earth can be rough- no matter money or health, we are surrounded by sin.
But it was not his appointed time to die really, so instead of being taken up to heaven, he was put into "deep sleep"...for four days, in a cold, dark grave.
What happened to Lazarus those days? He died.
Glad to die? Well, it was a rather special death...I would call it a complete death.
He died more than phisically. I believe that during those days he died to his wrong ideas of how to live life. I believe that in that cold lonely grave he died to his false expectations of a Walt Disney land.
Strange how it worked out, his dying to such misconceptions allowed him to obey Jesus call to raise from the dead.
Please, lets look at this again. Lazarus died to wrong ideas of how to live life and Lazarus died to the false expectations of a Walt Disney Land. That place where we have been told that everybody lives happily ever after.
Here on earth there is no such land.
Here on earth we must learn to face sin and death,in us and in those around.
Many translations state: Lazarus come out!
I like this one:
LAZARUS COME FORTH!

The words here imply come out, come live, come and have an effect on those around you...COME FORTH!
"Lazarus show others how to live,
by living a different type of life,
in their same broken world.
Lazarus, COME FORTH!"

Before Lazarus could receive such a call,
he had to die.

Romans 1:21

ALTHOUGH THEY KNEW GOD,
THEY DID NOT GLORIFY HIM AS GOD.
Romans 1:21

Glorify- give honor.
Honor- to accept as valid.

If you knew me in 2003, you probably had mixed feelings about me. Part of you thought "there goes a woman of God!", but on the other hand you saw things that smelled bad. Lets be blunt. You saw sin. And you probably wondered about it.
How can a woman that prays, and fasts, and hears the voice of God...be so blind to her own sin?
If you had asked God, He would have pointed to this verse. It is clear, isn´t it? I knew God, I talked to God, I was in a christian ministry, I attended a christian church, I gave counseling (ouch)
But all along I had a big problem. Undealt with sin. My rebellion towards God. Yes, I did go to the jungle when He asked me to and so on and so forth. But inside I did not honor God AS GOD. I did not glorify God AS GOD.
There was too much of God that did not fit my beliefs, my doctrine. He made me feel uncomfortable. I wanted a Twinkey Wonder type of God. Nice, sweet, fluffy and filled with cream...cheap.

Do you know what happens when we do that? Just continue the verse and you will have the answer to your question of "how can it be? This woman so blind to her sin!"...the verse reads on:
THEY DID NOT GLORIFY HIM AS GOD,
BUT BECAME VAIN IN THEIR REASONINGS,
AND THEIR SENSELESS MINDS HAVE BEEN DARKENED.

No deep math needed to see the solution to this problem.I did not accept the God of the Bible, I filled my brain with reasonings of why this couldn´t be or why this had changed after the cross...and I ended up in darkness. How sad. How simple. How bad.
If you continue to read you discover:
THEY EXCHANGED THE TRUTH OF GOD FOR A LIE

ouch, but please go on...

FOR THIS CAUSE GOD HAS GIVEN THEM UP TO SHAMEFUL LUSTS

sigh. There were three/four reasons why I lost that revival. One of them reasons was lust.

simple mathematics 1+1=2.
I didn´t honor God as God
My mind walked into darkness
God gave me up to shameful lust.

sigh.
I still feel the pain, not only of having lost a revival. The pain of living 40 years of my life without honoring God as God.
Without accepting Him as valid

There is pain, but there is now true hope in my heart. For simple math teaches me that if I invert the conditions the results will change.
Now I will honor God as God.
My mind will walk out of darkness.
God will set me free from lust...and so much more.

I am truly happy. All these years I have been striving to make a straight line with a compass. Now I have a ruler in my hand! I don´t even know how to use it, I haven´t even tried. But I know that I know that this time...I will be able to draw straight lines!!!
I have been encountered by the God who is God.
Honoring such a God is my present ambition.
Accepting Him as valid will be true love for God

Exodus 20:3-5

YOU SHALL NOT CARVE IDOLS FOR YOURSELVES IN THE
SHAPE OF ANYTHING...YOU SHALL NOT BOW DOWN BEFORE
THEM OR WORSHIP THEM.
Exodus 20:3-5

Today Puebla was filled with processions. Idolatry filled the air, I do not even speak of the subject before God. I know we are gathering ashes of wrath... when another earthquake strikes or when the volcanoe blows up, don´t ask why.
Idolatry is one of the sins most confronted in the Bible. It is direct rebellion against the God who is God.
Last year, God confronted me. It was a one to one talk. Nobody around to defend me in anyway. It was God and I.
"Bea Gasca, I will show you a dark place in your heart. One that wounds your faith and makes you walk in fear."
He took me there. I opened the room and found a carpenters shop, there were tools all around, and somebody had definitly been working...but there was nothing on the table to show a finished job.
"This is the place where you constantly try to shape me into your image, into your liking, into your concept of what a god should be like. A god you can control, and manipulate, a god you can buy and can sell cheap, a god you can limit with a simple prayer, a god you can feel comfortable with. A god that is not a real god, but that you long for, because to that god you could honestly surrender to."

I did not say a word. It was true. There is so much of God that I hadn´t accepted.
"This next months, I will reveal myself to you, as the God who is God. After you know who I am, then you decide if you surrender to me."

As I would turn my Bible pages I encountered this God who is God.
A God I cannot manipulate.
A God I cannot control.
A God who expects me to serve Him, and is not willing to become my servant.
A God who expects me to humble myself before Him, no matter the circumstances that surround me.
A God who cannot be used as a lucky charm.
A God who controls the universe, and yet respects human will.
A God who orders children to be killed. (He is just)
A God who allows His prophets to be stonned.
A God who slays with His sword, and takes His own son to the cross.
A God who if I should surrender to, He would have the right to ask of me ANYTHING, ANYTHING.
A God that does not appear in the right moment with a magic wand, to make things color pink.
A God that knows who the wicked people are and lets them go on breathing.
A God that I cannot label and put in a shoe box.
A God that is God.

Every time I encountered this God, I could see His eyes fixed on me. I kept my eyes on my Bible.
I knew that if I would lift my eyes up, I would meet the one question that was being asked but not spoken all those months:
"Will you accept me as the God who is God?
or will you keep trying to build an idol in
your heart?"

So the time is up. I now know the God who is God.
What can one possibly answer?
I surrendered all.
Not knowing what will become of me, and not even daring to limit God as to say "He has to bless me"...
I have seen this God. He allows His prophets to suffer and suffer deeply- just look at THE PROPHET ON THE CROSS.

For the first time in my life I feel really safe. I am truly in peace with God.
I humbled myself before this God.
I accepted Him just the way He really is...and called Him: GOD.
In an extremely humble way I dared to make a terryfing prayer:
God, I want an alliance with you.
I want to be your subordinate.
You command, I follow your orders, no matter what
You the king, I the servant.
You God, me thy people.
God today I accept you as God.

For the first time in my life a simple phrase moves out from the deepest part of my heart, and as it comes forth, freshness fills the air:

"I adore You, I adore You, I adore You"

It feels so good. Nothing stopping these words. They are spoken out of one who has faced God as God, and has accepted Him just the way He is. Their sound is different, and soft.

"I adore you the God who is God, for the first time in my life I adore you, and not an image made or prefrabicated in my own mind and heart."

Freedom is washing me anew.
For the first time in my life I am adoring the one true God, the God who is God.

Mark 15:24

AND THEY CRUCIFIED HIM.
Mark 15:24

I have done many different studies on the subject of the cross. All good. But for some reason none have the same effect in my heart than this small verse does.
The simplicity of the cross.
It strickes me.
God on the cross, willing to buy with His own son
a sinner like me.
I am a blood bought sinner, and the blood shed was that of the son´s of God.

Why God? Why did you take the cross?
You did not have to...you could have just crushed me and started all over again...You, YOU are God!
Why God? Why did you take the cross?
To buy me? a sinner who constantly doubts your plans, and questions your timing and wisdom, and raises an eyebrow when You act as the God who is God?
Why God? Why did you take the cross?
To buy me? a sinner who often believes she is god? rejecting you as an only God?
Why God? Why did you take the cross?
To buy me? a sinner who often tries to make you according to her own image and her own ways...rejecting you as a perfect God?

Why God? Why did you pay with your own blood?
It is a simple message.
Nowhere to get lost.
He went to the cross to buy me, a sinner of the worst kind.

I do not understand why people are amazed at my decision to totally surrender myself to this God.
I guess next time I will simply point to the cross, hoping someday they too will understand the simplicity of the cross.

The God of the cross has accepted me,
a sinner of the worst kind...even now,
I cannot truly understand.
But I cannot remain unmoved, untouched
by such love.

"oh God! You gave all for me!!!
Here I am, I fight against my sin,
I surrender...take ALL of me!
Make the cross whorthwhile...
take ALL of me, I surrender ALL.
Most loving God of the cross,
I surrender to your love call.
I surrender ALL."

Matthew 26:75

AND HE WENT OUT AND WEPT BITTERLY.
Matthew 26:75

Repentance- to change for the better as a result of remorse or contrition for one's sin.

I was surprised to find this defenition in the dictonary. Somebody out there is a better preacher than I.
I understood little of repentance. When people were feeling bad for their sins I used to try to ease their pain as fast as posible with Bible verses that would speak on God´s forgiveness.
I often interrupted the Holy Spirit's job. There He was trying to create contrition on this heart, and I would pat them on the back. "Don´t worry, God is love, He understands our human nature."
It is true: God is love and He does understand
out human nature.

But, BUT, BUT He wants us to turn from sin and He knows that an important step to break free of our love for sin is remorse; contrition...yep, and it is the Holy Spirit's job to bring this awareness into our heart.
If we do not go through remorse, if we do not see the ugliness of our acts, the filthiness of our heart...we won´t desire true change. We will excuse it, we will allow it, we will even caress it.
One day my son came in while I was dusting. "What are you doing?" "Dusting" He looked around and said that he couldn´t see the difference. Well, I do not wait for a deep cover of dust to collect...but I smiled, and told him. Ask my mom, she will tell you she does see the difference.
When we are used to certain amount of disorder, it is hard for us to feel uncomfortable with only "a little bit" of disorder.
When we are used to a lot of order, it is hard for us to feel comfortable with only "a little bit" of disorder.
Remorse is the eye cleaning instrument that God uses to open our eyes to our disorder and filthiness. If we skip this stage, if we don´t allow remorse to go into the deepest parts of our hearts...well, then it is very hard to desire change.
I mean, really, really, really desire change. I know people that hate hangovers. They think "I don´t want to do this again" But they do it. Why? because they hate hangovers, but enjoy the party and sex bit... until they get to the root of their sin and hate it, they will not change.
I started to ponder on the issue of remorse and repentance in 2003. After strong political problems in La Paz. People were killed and shot. God had no voice in La Paz. He has a church...but it was quiet, scared and hidden. We did such a bad job.
We had been praying for a revival, fasting...crying out: "God touch this nation!"
There we had an amazing opportunity to reach out, people needed God more than ever, and were willing to hear somebody with authority...we did such a bad job.
The hospitals were full. Some of us went out. We were too few, too few...not enough time, not enough strength. Too few. We did such a bad job.
I remember one prayer meeting after that. One of the young men at church started to pray asking for repentence. The lider of the prayer meeting, went and put a worship song on!!! I went over and asked him to turn it off....strange prayer meeting. I wonder what God thought of it! There we were fighting in the prayer meeting...but, how could we worship God with blood stained hands????
How did we dare even try?
How selfish could we get! "Thank you God for bringing peace back, and because my house wasn´t destroyed, and my business is nice and safe, and now I can continue going out to eat hamburgers with my friends...my brothers and sisters in Christ."
We did not enter a repentance time. We did not allow the Holy Spirit to soften our heart. The result? We lost a revival.
To my surprise God hadn´t expected us to act any better during the killings. But He had expected a time of repentance to soften our hearts. And we denied His action upon our lives.
The result? We lost a revival.
And we did not change.

Bolivia is still facing strong political and economical tension. God continues to be voiceless. A friend wrote to me and said "the church continues to wait for some miracle to happen without reaching out..."
If we only understood the importance of remorse!

THEY SEEK ME DAY AFTER DAY, AND DESIRE TO KNOW
MY WAYS,LIKE A NATIOIN THAT HAS DONE WHAT IS JUST AND NOT ABANODNED THE LAW OF THEIR GOD; THEY ASK ME TO DECLARE WHAT IS DUE THEM, PLEASED TO GAIN ACCESS TO GOD. "WHY DO WE FAST, AND YOU DO NOT SEE IT AFFLICT OURSELVES, AND YOU TAKE NO NOTE OF IT?"....
THIS IS THE FASTING THAT I WISH:RELEASING THOSE BOUND UNJUSTLY,..., SETTING FREE THE OPPRESSED,...; SHARING YOUR BREAD WITH THE HUNGRY, SHELTERING THE OPPRESSED AND THE HOMELESS; CLOTHING THE NAKED WHEN YOU SEE THEM, AND NOT TURNING YOUR BACK ON YOUR OWN...
Isaia 58:2-7

I suggest you read the whole chapter.
O my friends, we do not understand God! meetings and meetings, seminars, congresses, aren´t you getting tired of all that?
It is so much easier. Just reaching out, that is all.
Not complex, not complex at all.
I must add that I do pray and fast, but I still don't understand the people who spend hours and days praying and never reach out...it just does not add up. It does not make sense...to me.
We must act...we must repent for our hard hearts, we must change for the better as a result of remorse or contrition of our sin.
We are here to be a just nation and to bring justice. Allow God to soften your heart through remorse...or you will never ever reach out...even if you pray and fast and attend seminars.

Leviticus 26:9

I WILL LOOK WITH FAVOR UPON YOU, AND MAKE
YOU FRUITFULL AND NUMEROUS, AS
I CARRY OUT MY COVENANT WITH YOU.
Leviticus 26:9

Covenant- a formal binding agreement; contract.
Comply- to act in accordance with another´s command

Once again we find a very "could be popular" verse, the kind we want to use when in distress. The kind I would choose to make a sweet card, for someone having a rough time or the kind I used to use to try to manipulate God... "God, you promised!"
Ouch. It hurts to see my own foolishness. How patient my God has been...
Of course, If I had kept quiet and heard His answer I know it would have been:
"Bea Gasca, read the whole chapter,please!"

You see, all covenants have clauses. After Jesus´s resurrection we are under a new covenant. But it still has clauses.
It is true that we no longer have to sacrifice animals to make peace with God. But God makes it clear IN the New Testament, that He expects us to live holy lives.
IF YOU LIVE IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY PRECEPTS AND
ARE CAREFUL TO OBSERVE MY COMMANDMENTS, I WILL...
Leviticus 26:3

This is a covenant.
As I stopped to analize what was wrong in my life, why things were going from bad to worse I dicovered the following, painful truth:
I wanted God to move in my favor, without complying with His commands.
Last year, one of the things God strongly rebuked me on was the fact that one day He asked me to write out all the Bible verses that had the word covenant for my pastor. I did. BUT, BUT, BUT,...how I hate this "BUT" (so does God)...
BUT I took out the "ugly" ones. Because I did not want to sound like some lunatic or freaky prophet...how stupid of me!!! how increadibly stupid of me, not to understand that a prophet speaks that which God commands- preatty or not.
So, I did not include verses such as:
BUT IF YOU DO NOT HEED ME AND DO NOT KEEP
ALL THESE COMMANDMENTS, IF YOU REJECT MY
PRECEPTS AND SPURN MY DECREES, REFUSING TO OBEY
ALL MY COMMANDMENTS, AND BREAKING MY COVENANT,
THEN I, IN TURN, WILL GIVE YOU YOUR DESERTS.
I WILL PUNISH YOU WITH TERRIBLE WOES- WITH
WASTING AND FEVER TO DIM THE EYES AND SAP THE
LIFE.
Leviticus 26:14

And then I wondered where God was... and why His promises seemed to be out of my reach. I mean, I din´t even know what clauses He was talking about. And the ones I did understand...I threw them out, because they were for others, in other circumstances, "not mine".
Simple clauses like:
Honor thy parents....what? you don´t know mine!
Pay your taxes...what? you don´t know the
country I live in!
Do not lust...have you seen modern clothes???

I found an excuse, to break every clause...yet, amazingly I expected God to comply with His part!
"you promised you would bless me!
you promised to change my life! (when I actually
meant: you promised to change the those around me!- and He hadn´t made such a promise.)
you promised ....you promised...WHY???
Why don´t you change my life?"

But the day came, our of mercy and out of grace when I did stop and heard His answer:
"Bea Gasca, read the whole chapter,please!"

And now I am studying the Bible to find out what the clauses are...because I know I want those blessings, over me and over my loved ones, over the nations.
so I will study them clauses, and put them into practice and then...and then I will humbly pray:
"Your Majesty,
remember our covenant...I have kept my clauses,
do you think it is time for the blessings?"

and then, I will sit in silence and hear His reply.
should there be anything missing...I will pay attention and obey dutifully...
I will do this until I hear Him say:
"Yes, Bea Gasca, it is time,
Now, let the rain fall!"

IF YOU LIVE IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY PRECEPTS
AND ARE CAREFUL TO OBSERVE MY COMMANDMENTS,
I WILL GIVE YOU RAIN IN DUE SEASON,
SO THAT THE LAND WILL BEAR ITS CROPS,
AND THE TREES THEIR FRUIT.
Leviticus 26:3-4

Luke 22:61

AND THE LORD TURNED AND LOOKED UPON PETER.
LUKE 22:61

In the dictionary I found:
Impulsive- inclined to act on impulse rather
than thought.

If you have Impulsive as spontaneous it is okey, but today I will be using Impulsive under the defenition mentioned above.

AND THE LORD TURNED AND LOOKED UPON PETER.
Luke 22:61

Have you ever talked with your eyes?
You need a special friend to do that. Perhaps you have spent many years with that person, so you know him/her well and speaking with your eyes is easy and part of your relationship, or perhaps you have many things in common, your thoughts and feelings bring you close enough to have a conversation with your eyes.
You do not need words. Your eyes are enough.
You do not need to be that close physically, because you do not need to hear the words. You read them in the person´s eyes.
It seems to me that Peter and Jesus had that kind of a relationship. They spoke with their eyes.
This wasn´t a first time happening. They had spoken with their eyes for years.
We all think of Peter as impulsive, reacting to his own thoughts and feelings; I question such a theory. I think Jesus and Peter spoke with their eyes. And other times Peter read Jesus´eyes.
When Peter jumped out of the boat: even before he spoke I am sure that they had a conversation. Jesus told Peter "this is fun!"... and the conversation went on. By the time Peter spoke "Lord, if you ask me to go I will go!" Peter had heard quite a lot...a lot.
That is one of the amazing things with this type of conversation. A quick glance, a million thoughts expressed. No need for words.
Peter read Jesus' eyes. That night, while Jesus´was being arrested. Peter read His eyes. Determined to take the cross, but still in pain. So Peter took the sword and did his best...he was a fisherman so he didn´t kill the man. He was not impulsive. He did not react before the momement. He had given much thought to all of this. He had already spoken to the Lord about it all AND had been rebuked about it. I think Peter thought about it all, and still was not sure of God´s plan.
Bold stament there. There is no real clue for this. But I dare say it...because I have been there. I often argue with God.
They spoke with their eyes. What a terrible night, long and weary. Confusin? Not really, not really. Jesus had predicted all of this, with detail. Painful, yes, extremely painful.
They had spoken so much on this issue. Peter had tried so hard to agree with God: "I will die with you" were words that came from an honest heart. But a heart that hadn´t reached a total agreement with God. "WHY? Why must it be this way?"
Call it rebellion out of love. It was still rebellion. Sin took its toll. Peter denied Jesus. Jesus turned, and looked at Peter.
What was THAT conversation like?
Severe. Yes, it was full of love. But love in one of the ways we hate to accept. Severe discipline is an expression of God´s love. The same love that took Jesus to the cross has another expression and it is called discipline. Severe discipline that lead Peter´s heart to repentance, true, deep repentance. God´s love taking him to a changing point in his life. God´s severe conversation, changed that fisherman...to Peter the Apostol.
Then there is that morning on the beach (John 21). Peter had bore God´s discipline. Now he had a lot to tell Jesus. But he hadn´t found the right moment. That morning. John said "it is the Lord!" and Peter knew in his heart that THAT was the moment he had been waiting for. He jumped into the ocean, and swam against the current, he had to walk out of the water, pushing hard and as fast as he could "I cannot waste my opportunity...I must tell Him!" He got on firm sand and took firm steps, then he had to walk on the soft sand and his feet sank in the sand, slowing his progress down. But he didn´t care, he could slow down now. He knew he had the time he needed before the rest would come.
Peter was not impulsive. He had thought of this moment for days. He had waited for it since that day he had visited that empty grave.
As he drew near, Jesus pretended to be busy with the fire. Allowing for Peter to draw near. Peter did not shout to call for his master´s attention. He only drew near.
When the moment was right, Jesus lifted His eyes and met Peter´s. Peter stood still, at a fair distance, a distance that did not matter, because they were friends.They could talk with their eyes.
They had gone through so much, their eyes had changed. They both had changed, but they could still find the friend that once had been there.
No reproach. That was over.
They spoke of their love for each other.

Peter had fought for this moment and had won it. Soon enough the others arrived. Noisier and not understanding much of what was going on. No matter, Peter had gotten his moment. Jesus smiled at him with His eyes, then He turned to the rest and smiled with His lips..."You got any fish?"
Peter turns. His heart filled and in peace. He goes to get the fish with no idea of the soon to be surprise:
Jesus will give him, his ministry back.

Jesus asked Peter 3 times if he loved Him. Strange, since that is exactly what that eye to eye conversation was about. Peter was puzzeled...but He knew the Lord..."He is up to something, but what?" He thought.
He looked back to that night, to the look with severe discipline and weakness filled his heart. He was grieved. He had betrayed his friend, no wonder his friend doubted of his love.
If it hadn´t been for that moment earlier...he would have fallen apart. They had spoken of their love with their eyes...but...now...the present comes, life goes on and he must understand his place... "I have lost so much, I have lost it all"
These are Peter's thoughts."I betrayed my friend, He will never trust meagain!"
Three times had Jesus commanded him back into ministry. But Peter could not believe those words...he had seen that look, that night. It was no simply mistake. It was much more than a spilled glass of milk. He had betrayed his friend.

Jesus speaks to him so more, Peter cannot concentrate, he is in a daze of pain and wondering what is going on.
And then he hears those words, the words that really restore that man:
"FOLLOW ME"
Those were the same words that Jesus had spoken so long ago, when he was a mere fisherman! The beginning of a friendship that would take them to that point were they could speak with their eyes.
It was then and only then that Peter felt 100% forgiven.
It was then and only then that Peter knew things were right, he was at peace with God.
He took a deep, deep breath and got up to follow, just as he had done so, several year ago. But things were different this time. For now he was closer to God.
How do I know? Before, he would ask John to ask Jesus that which he wanted to know. That morning, walking close to Jesus, Peter asked Jesus about the future of John. And Jesus answered honestly and bluntly. "it is none of your businness!"
They were friends again, walking by eachother's side.
One resurrected, the other restored.
They were friends again, but even closer yet.

It was God´s love that brought this unity.
God´s love through the cross and
God´s love through severe discipline.
God´s love, God´s love.

genesis 15:12

AS THE SUN WAS SETTING, ABRAM FELL INTO A
DEEP SLEEP; AND TERROR CAME UPON HIM, A GREAT
DARKNESS.
GENESIS 15:12

Have you ever read a Bible book for children with this story?
Have you ever read a sermon with this story?
If you have you, have been very priviliged; few have ever heard of this story.
I love this story.
It is in the midst of this darkness and terror that God speaks to Abram.
In fact, this terror and darkness were part of the answer Abram got to the questions he asked at the beginning of the chapter.
It was one of does days in which one is with a low amount of faith. Abram the father of faith with a low level of faith...and God decided to display a bit of His greatness...to help Abram.
That morning God had told Abram "do not fear, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great."
Abram´s answer was:"O Lord God, what willyou give me? I am childless"
God speaks with faith: "count the stars, so shall your posterity be and you will have this land to possess."
Abram answers: "o Lord God, how am I to know
that I shall possess it?"

Have you ever answered God that way? I have...I do.
O LORD GOD...HOW?

So God covers Abram in deep darkness in another version I have found "a terrifying darkness". And there God gives Abram a clear description of his future and of his descendants future.
Here God tells Abram that his descendants will be slaves for 400 years.
I will be honest. When I heard the story of Joseph, and how he went through all that awfull stuff "to later save his family",,,well, I always ended up with this feeling that God hadn´t planned things well enough.
Sure, Jacob and his family were saved BUT they later ended up as slaves...doesn´t sound too good a deal. Specially because in our Mexican Anthem we sing "in every son you have a soldier, who would rather die that to be a slave". Slavery good? God allowing His people to become slaves and taking such a long time to free them?
It just doesn´t match. Something didn´t seem rigth. I never said it out loud. But I did question God. How powerful a God is He? How intelligent is He?
So when I noticed this scripture my brain just went crazy. GOD...YOU KNEW ABOUT IT ALL ALONG?
I mean, you were not caugth by surprise? Moses wasn´t a PLAN B because Plan A hadn´t worked out as planned? wow!
God had a plan, a strategy. He was going to take them to Egypt and provide them with stability so they could grow in number. 70 people entered Egypt, Thousands and thousands left Egypt. so you have an idea: the men from the tribe of Levi were 22,000!There were twelve tribes...
I like this God. His strategies are strange, but He does know what He is doing!!!!!
This time Abram did not answer with another question, as he had done in the morning...it is very hard to be in the "well, God I am not sure about your plan" attitude when you are surrounded by a "terryfing darkness"
Now, I continue to wonder about this guy, Abram. Did you notice that as soon as this chapter ends the next chapter describes how he accepts Sarai´s option of taking Agar to have a son?
How human we are...how fragile...God reaveals himself to us in amazing ways. Different ways but never the less all amazing ways...it scares me to see our human nature. How easily we decide that God doesnt really know what He is doing...we better find a way to help Him out. That God exists is not the question, the question is the HOW. A God that tells you in advance that your descendants will be slaves, mmmm...maybe we should give Him a hand.
yesterday God gave me back the nations...today I wake up with one thought:
O LORD GOD! ....HOW?

As I meditate on this scripture I can hear Him whispering into my heart:
"Bea Gasca, trust me. Take one step at a time.
My ways are strange, BUT they are perfect."

THE WAY OF THE LORD IS PERFECT
II SAMUEL 22:31

May God grant me the grace to do things
right this time.

Ezechiel 47:3-6

HE MEASURD OFF A THUSAND CUBITS AND HAD ME WADE THROUGH THE WATER, WHICH WAS ANKLE-DEEP. HE MEASURED
OFF ANOTHER THOUSAND AND ONCE MORE HAD ME WADE THROUGH THE WATER, WHICH WAS NOW KNEEDEEP. AGAIN HE MEASURED OFF A THUSAND AND HAD ME WADE; THE WATER WAS UP TO MY WAIST. ONCE MORE HE MEASURED OFF A THUSAND, BUT THERE WAS NOW A RIVER THROUGH WHICH I COULD NOT WADE; FOR THE WATER HAD RISEN SO HIGHT IT HAD BECOME A RIVER THAT COULD NOT BE CROSSED EXCEPT BY SWIMMING. HE ASKED ME, "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS, SON OF MAN?"
Ezechiel 47:3-6

I grew up in Mexico. We have the Atlantic Ocean on one side and the Pacific Ocean on the other side, so we often went to the beach on vacations.
Here you find different depths of water too. Most people prefer to stay on the sand, sunbathing, reading, playing, talking...on the sand.
I didn´t like staying on the sand, I liked to be in contact with the water. What you do in ankle-deep waters is to walk along the shore line. Yes, you do let your feet get wet, but only a little bit, only to feel its freshness. The beauty of you walk surrounding you. The wind playing with your hair. The sunrise or sunset filling the sky with amazing colors. The water making different patterns on the sand as it slides back on the ocean. The birds trying to catch a crab... It is a peaceful walk, refreshing.
Then there are the knee-deep waters, you basicly do the same than above, you walk along the shore line but a bit further in. The trick and fun part here is to fight against the current, the waves coming back into the ocean...they pull you tight and try to make you fall. So you make a firm stand, let them wash by then you shout "I beat you ocean! you did not make me fall!" The waters think quickly and get rustled up enough to come and splash you hard "Aha," cries the ocean,"I got you wet!" "Yes," you admit, but add "but you did not make me fall!"
Then there is the waist-deep waters. Usually it is the place to play with the waves. The big ones have broken, but smaller ones still try to catch you. There are different strategies to avoid getting caught by a wave. The thrill here is exactly that, not getting caught by a wave. If you do get caught you get a rough ride. The wave twirls you around, and drags you back to shore. If you would find me sitting on the sand you could assume that I had been caught by a wave. It hurt, I did not like it, but after a while I would be back ...teasing the ocean.
And then there is the deep-waters. You have to go past the waves. Tricky, but possible. Out there everything is calm. Like a huge swimming pool. Inmensity surrounding you. You no longer fight with the ocean, you are friends. You can lay on your back
allowing the water movements to sooth you.
As I read Ezequiel 47 my thoughts went back to all of these. I enjoyed being in contact with the water, I enjoyed all of the above, but my favorite place were the deep-waters. My dad showed me to get there, and he opened my heart to its beauty. He showed me not to be afraid, but to enjoy its majesty and its inmensity. He showed me some safety tricks, currents and sharks...they are part of such inmensity.
To get there you had to pay a price. You had to leave the safe spots near the shore, with their comfort and protection. You had to fight the waves, you had to go past them. And you had to fight the fear of swimming in such an inmensity...with who knows what else moving around you...once I saw a type of dolphin swim real near me, I thought it was a shark...(use your imagination to end this part).
I understand why so very few people were to be found on that side of the waves, but it is a shame. It is a shame that they should not dare to swim in such a majestic place...out of fear for the unknown, out of fear for the risk, out of fear for the uncontrolable...out of fear. They go to the beach every summer, but they never get to know this place. What a shame, what a pity...
Let me share a funny thing, when I was little my dad would call me "flaquita" which means extremly thin. And I was. I look back and think of my dad taking flaquita past the waves. He knew I could make it, but I was so small! so thin!
Back then I did it, I not once thought of these facts. Thin and small.But now I do. So thin! and fighting against those waves!
It is possible my friend, if I could do it...anybody can.
My dad also taught me of spiritual deep waters. He taught me that opening my Bible and reading was possible.He did not give me a lecture on it, but every morning when I woke up, I found him in the living room...reading his Bible. He made emphasis on its inmensity and on its majesty. He never told me not to do it because it implied risks for my own life. He made me fall in love with these deep waters.He gave me a passion for knowing God-through the scriptures. I thank God for my dad.
Just let me add two more details:
1.If you go to the beach you will notice how very few are actually swimming in deep waters. If you wait for a group of people to take you there...you will have to wait for a long time. Yes, a revival is coming...but it is still a while. My friend, if "flaquita" made it past the waves- you can easily do it too.
2.In deep waters you can actually swim, this is part of the attraction. Yes, I could have gone to the hotel´s swimming pool...but it is not salt water. When I swam in deep waters, I would take the end of my braid and suck on it...nice and salty! I recall Jesus words: "you are the salt of the earth,
if the salt looses its favor,
it is thrown out"

Flaquita is swimming in deep waters, you can do it too.

Revelations 19:7

LET US BE GLAD AND REJOICE,
AND GIVE GLORY TO HIM; FOR THE MARRIAGE
OF THE LAMB HAS COME, AND HIS SPOUSE HAS
PREPARED HERSELF. AND SHE HAS BEEN PERMITTED
TO CLOTHE HERSELF IN FINE LINEN, SHINING,
BRIGHT.
REVELATIONS 19:7

This is a very popular verse in church now days. There is a song with it that I really like. The idea of being His bride is beautiful, overwhelming...a delight!
But today I want to ponder on the "white linen."
She has been permitted ...wow!
Do you know it is a privilige to wear white linen clothes?
And do you know it is a privilige we (as a church) seldom wear?
Do you know the ending of the previous verse?

FOR FINE LINEN IS THE JUST DEEDS OF THE SAINTS.

Not good deeds...read well, JUST DEEDS.
We know so little of what justice means, we don´t even like to hear of GOD IS A JUST GOD...how are we to do JUST DEEDS?

I believe that the revival I carry in my womb is a revival based on justice. It will be different...very different. Yes, there will be stadiums filled, and there will be miracles, and worship...but I am thirsty for something else, and I know I won´t stop until I see it.
I am thirsty for justice.
I long to see the church bringing forth justice on earth.
Entire countries are wailing "justice! justice!"
and nobody answers their voice.
Church wake up! It is your task...we are the only ones who have true light!
Enough is enough! No more telling people that their starving children are in God´s heart and when they die the will go to heaven..
Enough is enough! No more telling women that their husband´s abuse is a way to make her more spiritual, to take her closer to God...
Enough is enough! No more telling people that the rich, oppresive politicians are not really happy, that certainly they can´t sleep at night...
JUSTICE
Who will stand up and bring justice to earth?
Who will reach out?

I personally don´t understand people who pray and pray and never reach out...I don´t know why they never get to feel God´s heart. HE longs to reach out.
HIS deepest cry is "Who will go? Who can we send?"
Now I am standing still on the outside. I am not reaching out. God knew I needed the rest, and healing some deep wounds which I got out there in the battle, out there: reaching out.
I am standing still on the outside...but not in the inside. I am working hard on getting a new heart.
And part of that heart is built up on JUSTICE.
I still don´t know the details, but I have understood God´s longing to bring justice to earth...I mean it is no deep revelation-it is written all over the Bible.
But they are those kind of Bible verses I had diluted, trying to avoid the fact that GOD IS JUST and I will be judged...too heavy a reality, so I deluted it.
I focused on comfort and hope.
But can you offer true comfort and true hope without justice implied?
NO!!!
How do I know? Because I did it for so many years and in the end it was like giving people a ballon filled with gas...the ballon would sooner or later Pop and they would be left with an even bigger void, and with even a deeper cry.
Some justice is not hard to bring forth. When we would go the hospital for poor people in Bolivia, we brought justice by demanding that people would be given the proper care...that was all. Not hard at all.
I don´t know the details of what will come, but I am starting by accepting that GOD IS JUST.
and I am starting by accepting Bible verses like:
THOU ARE JUST, O LORD, WHO ARE AND WAS,
O HOLY ONE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE JUDGED THESE THINGS;
BECAUSE THEY POURED OUT THE BLOOD OF THE SAINTS
AND PROPHETS, SO YOU HAVE GIVEN THEM BLOOD
TO DRINK; THEY DESERVE IT!"
REVELATIONS 16:5

Daniel 4:32

GOD DOES AS HE PLEASES WITH THE POWERS
OF HEAVEN AS WELL AS WITH THOSE WHO LIVE
ON EARTH. THERE IS NO ONE WHO CAN STAY HIS
HAND OR SAY TO HIM, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
Daniel 4:32

God is God. God is sovereign.
We should delight in Him...but how can we?
This is one of those parts in the Bible that we just don´t like. We like to see Him as a sovereign God when He tells us pretty things, but...
"IT HAS BEEN DECREED FOR YOU, KING
NABUCHODONOSR, THAT YOUR KINGDOM IS TAKEN
FROM YOU!"
Daniel 4:28

"It has been decreed for you, Bea Gasca, that your children be taken from you!"
How can we say "your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is done in heaven?"
Terrifying God.
Sovereign God.
We sing it in our hymns...but can we face and accept such a God?
A God who moves in a way we cannot understand, and who we cannot question with a "what have YOU done?"
Terrifying God. Sovereing God.
You know why God called me a hypocrite, despite that for many I was a spiritual woman? Because in my heart, I always asked:
"What have YOU done?"
You see, sometimes as we obey we have to go through real hard things but with time we can see back and say "I am glad I obeyed!THIS was the reason why God did THAT!"
But so many other times, we are only left with the pain.
How can we handle that?
We can´t, because it implies we humble ourselves low and admit that we are not gods, admit that we are only dust- loved, but that is all.
Lets go to David.
IT IS BETTER THAT WE FALL IN THE HANDS OF
THE LORD, BECAUSE HIS LOVE IS GREAT, AND NOT
TO FALL IN THE HANDS OF MEN.
II SAMUEL 24:14

Don´t! Do not sigh with relief yet!
We do that, we have such a strange understanding of God...we hear of the God of love and we sigh with relief...this verse we do like, this verse we can put in stickers, and pictures...it is a nice verse, the kind we can handle IF,IF, IF...
IF we take it out of context.
Yep. It is the only way we could "sell" this verse- out of context. Because if you continue to read you will find that the answer to this prayer was:
THE LORD SENT TO ISRAEL A PLAGUE...AND
70,000 PEOPLE DIED.
II Samuel 24:15

are you there?
It is not a popular message, but my friend it is a message of life.
God speaks of David as "a man after My own heart", and He says those words with such love! David was accounted as a friend of God!
Why?
Not because David was perfect! (just read his life and understand how unperfect he was)
David was accounted God´s friend, because although He knew of God as God- he accepted him...no conditions attached.
David did not cut out of his Bible the verses that revealed a God that he could not control or limit.
David took God as God.
And became his closest friend.

And what about Nabuchodonosor? I encourage you to read the whole chapter of Daniel 4, but his kingdom was taken away...do you know the result?
These are his very own words:

THEREFORE, I, NABUCHODONOSOR, NOW PRAISE AND EXALT
AND GLORIFY THE KING OF HEAVEN, BECAUSE ALL HIS
WORKS ARE RIGHT AND HIS WAYS JUST; AND THOSE WHO
WALK IN PRIDE HE IS ABLE TO HUMBLE
Daniel 4:34

Yes, I agree with Nabuchodonosor.
I have seen a sovereign God.
His sovereignty has humbled me.
I am only dust. God... HE IS GOD.
and amazing God who I dearly love.

Osee/ Luke

Today I want to speak on the difference between the desert and walking in the midst of God´s wrath.
Is there any difference?
We often speak of the desert as the worst place we could be. It is true, it is no fun. It is harsh and dry.
But as we walk down the road with God, we soon realize that the desert has a special beauty: We come out leaning on our beloved.
SO I WILL ALLURE HER; I WILL LEAD HER INTO THE
DESERT AND SPEAK TO HER HEART. FROM THERE I WILL
GIVE HER THE VINEYARDS SHE HAD, AND THE VALLEY
OF ACHOR AS A DOOR OF HOPE.
OSEE 2:16

A desert is hard. I will not contradict such a fact. sometimes we get to the point of wondering if we can take another step.
A desert is a place we will often visit while here on earth. God himself will lead us into the desert: to speak to our hearts.
Sometimes God leaves us in the desert for a long, long, long time. I have been to the desert many times.I recall a specific time when I just dropped on the sand. There were vultures around. "Bea, get up, they will attack you if you don´t move..." "I cannot move, I will not even try. Enough is enough...if I die, I die." The telephone rang and the call had one message: rain... Perfect timing!
I WILL ALLURE HER; LEAD HER INTO THE DESERT
SPEAK TO HER HEART...

The desert is hard, but I will pay the price ...to hear HIS voice, speaking into my heart.

But God´s wrath...!
But God´s wrath is different.

"LORD, OPEN FOR US!" AND HE SHALL SAY TO YOU IN
ANSWER, "I DO NOT KNOW YOU, DEPART FROM ME
ALL YOU WORKERS OF INIQUITY.
LUKE 13:25-27

That is God´s wrath.
The verse also says: "BUT LORD WE ATE AND DRANK IN
YOUR PRESENCE..."

God´s wrath is something totally different from the desert. In the desert He speaks to your heart.
Here, you are rejected, pushed aside.
All your previous good deeds become scum.
DEPART FROM ME WORKER OF INIQUITY
"But Bea, you ate and drank in the presence of God!"
So?
I lost a revival, many people were wounded, I was held responsible for their blood.
The words I heard were these:
DEPART FROM ME WORKER OF INIQUITY!

God loves me, but He is holy,holy, holy.
I don´t care if this goes against your doctrine. I rather you be unsettled and upset than for you to continue walking in some false hope that you can go on sinning and never face the wrath of God...just because you now eat and drink in the presence of the Lord.
My friend listen closely, we cannot walk in such senseless way. His mercy is just awesome...but His justice, His holiness, His wrath are all part of the game.
You cannot continue to walk in sin and think you will not render accounts for doing so.

LISTEN!!!!! and listen well...God is Just.

I AM THE WAY. Jesus said.
Our only real hope of not facing God´s wrath is to follow HIS WAY.
That was Jesus´ reason for going to the cross, so we could have the option of a different way, a way that would lead us far from God´s wrath...BUT it is up to us to follow that way.

I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND LIFE. Jesus said.

Daniel 3: 26

SERVANTS OF THE MOST HIGH GOD,
COME OUT AND COME HERE.
DANIEL 3:26

These were king Nabuchodonosor´s word. I strongly recomend you read Daniel 5:17-21, here you can get a better idea of who King Nabuchodonosor was. And it is this man that pronounced these words.
I tremble at such words. How I wait for the day my family, my friends, my society pronounces the same words to me.
Not because of desire for acceptance and attention, but those same words pronounced out of the same heart in which they were spoken.
Nabuchodonosor was no jerk. He was the king of one of the greatest empires of history. He took his kingdom to power. He had seen many things, done many others. But that morning he saw something that impressed him enough to say:
"I want those guys near me."
He even appointed them to hight places in the government! He wanted them that near!

We all say "yes, I would like God to touch my husband´S/ wife´s/kid´s/parent´s/neighbor´s heart like that.
But what did God use to touch the king´s heart?
"BEA! a miracle...can´t you see these guys didn´t burn in the fire!"
WHY? why didn´t they burn? who were these guys? why did they receive such mercy, such grace?
Once again lets remember their background. They were young jews, who grew up in the midst of adversity. It was adversity and not prosperity that shaped their lives!!! It was adversity and not prosperity that drew them near God, so close that by the time they reached Babylon they had one thing clear:
GOD IS THE MOST HIGH GOD
and WE ARE HIS SERVANTS

Get a catholic Bible and read Azaria´s prayer...wow! I mean...wow...every single pharse moves my heart...AND it touched God´s heart.
Please, don´t memorize it and everytime you are in problems say it out loud as one would do with some type of magic words.
The words are correct, they are neat, they are special...but it was the heart!!! The heart that said those words... meant those words!
When Azaria´s said "with contrite heart and humble spirit let us be recieved; as though it were holocaust of rams..." he was saying:
MOST HIGH GOD, You are God. We are not.
Today, we will probably die, consumed by fire.
Let even our death be precious to you.
Let the burning smell of our flesh,
reach you, and may you accept it,
Today, we are here, in the fire, instead of rams
Please God, let our death be a sweet, fragant
smell unto you.

When we are going through hard situations...can we pray like this? Does our heart understand that He is the Most High God and thus continue to be humbled before Him? or do we get upset and angry and give Him some dirty looks? "God you could have saved me from this...and you haven´t!" or "God what on earth are you doing? everything is going wrong!"
My heart is not like Azaria´s heart...yet.

But that is not all. Azaria´s makes this prayer. He finishes. They probably all look at each other, with a "this is it guys, has been nice knowing you" type of look. They wait for a minute...and they are still alive!!!!! MAN ALIVE!!!!!!!!!
uuuuuhhhhhh!!!!
And then in the catholic Bible you read their praise. They were STILL in the furnace, but they knew, they just knew that God was going to get them out...sooner or later, they were going to walk out alive!
And you read their praise and you might think, these guys really lacked inspiration:
"Dolphins and all water creatures, bless the Lord;
ice and snow, bless the Lord..."
That is basically it.
They mention all creation...not very inspired, huh?

but I understand. When I made it out of those forty days of walking in the midst of God´s wrath, even though I knew things weren´t really over, in fact I faced 10 months of harsh discipline after the 40 days, but when those 40 days were over...I had one phrase in my heart:
I AM ALIVE!
and I knew my praise wasn´t enough.
so I would walk down the streets and told the trees,
"you trees, praise God along with me! Praise Him for His mercy endures for ever!"
I told the trees, the insects, the mountains, the sky... "all creation lets give God a big hand!"

and it still wasn´t enough.
That is why I now have this strong desire for a revival, I want to see the nations praising God.

That is how it happens.
God is taking the church through adversity of all kinds...to shape us...to break us...to take us to that place of understanding that HE IS THE MOST HIGH GOD...so we will walk in complete humility before Him...and then we will see the miracles...and then the world will cry out:
CHURCH OF THE MOST HIGH GOD,
COME OUT AND COME HERE!

Azaria´s prayer

They walked about in the flames, singing to God and blessing the Lord. In the fire Azaria stood up and prayed aloud:
"Blesed are you, and praiseworthy, O Lord, the God of our fathers, and glorious forever is your name. For you are just in all you have done; all your deeds are faultless, all your ways right, and all your judgments proper. you have executed proper judgments in all that you have brought upon us and upon Jerusalem, the holy city of our fathers. By a proper judgment you have done all this because of our sins; for we have sinned and transgressed by departing from you, and we have done every kind of evil. Your commandments we have not heeded or obvserved, nor have we done as you ordered us for our good. Therefore all you have brought upon us, all you have done to us, you have done by proper judgment. You have handed us over to our enemies, lawless and hateful rebels; to an unjust king, the worst in all the world. Now we cannot open our mouths; we, your servants, who revere you, have become a shame and a reproach. For your name´s sake, do not deliver us up forever, or make void your covenant. Do not take away your mercy form us, for the sake of Abraham, your beloved, Isaac your servant, and Israel your holy one, to whom you promised to multiply their offspring like the stars of heaven, or the sand on the shore of the sea. For we are reduced, O lord, beyond any other nation, brought low everywhere in the world this day because of our sins. we have in our day no prince, prophet, or leader, no holocaust, sacrifice, oblation,or incense, no place to offer first fruits, to find favor with you. But with contrite heart and humble spirit let us be received; as though it were holocausts of rams and bullocks, or thousands of fat lambs, so let our sacrifice be in your presence today as we follow you unreservedly; for those who trust in you cannot be put to shame. And now we follow you with our whole heart, we fear you and we pray to you. Do not let us be put to shame, but deal with us in kindness and great mercy. Deliver us by your wonders, and bring glory to your name, O Lord: let all those be routed who inflict evils on your servants; let them be shamed and powerless, and their strenght broken; let them know that you alone are the Lord God, glorious over the whole world."
Daniel 3: 24-47

Azaria was Daniel´s friend. He had a very similar background. They both grew up in one of the darkest ages of the church. Church leaders and government leaders were sinning. Inside God´s temple they would worship false God´s. They would have sexual relationship with the women who were there to serve. They killed prophets who told them to repent. And still had the nerve to say "we are the people of God"
Azaria grew up in a time of danger. There was war and hunger all around.
I can see this boy looking around. Such a mess of a world he got! Seeking for truth, he would read the scriptures and his heart would burn. Then he would look at the church leaders and deception filled his heart. Then he heard a prophet, he spoke unlike many others...there was something in his voice, something in his eyes...and out of God´s mercy, Azaria became one of the ones that would be considered "the remanent"
It was there, with hunger pains, that Azaria learned to fast and to eat properly...The city was under siege.
As he walked down the streets and saw dead bodies, or women crying over their dead children...Azarias learned that God is just.
Since routine was constantly interrupted, and they had to go into hiding...Azarias had time to pray.
The prayer you have just read, was not a prayer inspired in a moment of passion, and thus answered by God with favor.
The prayer you have just read, was made by a man that knew God well.
A man that knew God well and was not offended by Him. Not only Azaria was not offended by God, he loved and honored God for who He is.
"YOU ARE JUST...YOU HAVE EXECUTED PROPER JUDGMENTS IN ALL THAT YOU HAVE BROUGHT UPON US...LET OUR SACRIFICE BE IN YOUR PRESENCE TODAY AS WE FOLLOW YOU UNRESERVEDLY.."
Azaria, the man who made this prayer, found God in the midst of a broken world and a broken church.
There is hope!
There is hope.

Daniel 3: 32

YOU (GOD) HAVE HANDED US OVER TO OUR ENEMIES,
LAWLESS AND HATEFUL REBELS;
TO AN UNJUST KING.
DANIEL 3:32

Before I share on this verse I have to make a point clear. This verse is in the Catholic Bible. The Catholic Bible includes several books that the protestant Bible does not include. If you ask me why they were taken out I will give you 3 reasons:
1) It makes printing cheaper
2) It is not so heavy to carry to church
3) Since it is smaller we hope people will read it
                                                                     These are not true, there was a meeting in which the
                                                                      books we now have in the protestant Bible were chosen...
I don´t want to go into a discussion on the topic. I have read them and enjoyed them AND I do not see any false doctrine in them. In fact just so you may glimpse at the beauty of these books I will copy this whole prayer, but I will do it on a separate piece- look for it under "Azaria´s prayer."
Sorry for the interruption.
Now lets get focused on the verse:
YOU HAVE HANDED US OVER TO OUR ENEMIES,
LAWLWESS AND HATEFUL REBELS;
TO AN UNJUST KING, THE WORST IN ALL THE WORLD.
DANIEL 3:32

Do you begin to feel the burning fire? Something unsettling inside? Wait until you read this (this is in all Bibles):
HE (GOD)MAKES KINGS AND UNMAKES THEM
DANIEL 2:21

God made an unjust king? The worst of in all the world? It wasn´t the devil? God made this lawless and hateful rebels and allowed His people to become slaves of them?
Well, actually sin played a strong part in turning Nabuchodonosor into a cruel man, the initial sin was pride which made him insensate.(Daniel 5:20) Insensate means foolish but another of its definitions is cruel. And if you read Jeremaih, God clearly states that He had used Nabuchodonosor as instrument of His judgement, but that He was extremely upset with Nabuchodonosor´s reaction: pride and extreme cruelty.
But even though God is aware of Nabuchodonosor´s heart, God hands His people into Nabuchodonosor´s hand. God made him king. And put His people in his hands. Despite his hardened heart.
Read what Daniel tells Nabuchodonosor (in all Bibles):
YOU, O KING, ARE THE KING OF KINGS; TO YOU THE GOD OF HEAVEN HAS GIVEN DOMINION AND STRENGTH, POWER AND GLORY; MEN, WILD BEASTS, AND BIRDS OF THE AIR, WHEREVER THEY MAY DWELL, HE HAS HANDED OVER TO YOU, MAKING YOU RULER OVER THEM ALL
DANIEL 2:37

You will probably notice that the two last verses are in protestant Bibles and the first is in the Catholic Bible. We can quickly say: God did make Nabuchodonosor king- no problem with God appointing kings, BUT in my Bible it doesn´t say he was a bad king. One does get uncomfortable, maybe that is why they took out this verse...Anyhow, pick up a history book, read it and then tell me what you then think.

BUT we can also point out the fact that this verses are in the OLD TESTAMENT. People do it, it is like a lifesaver...we hit something we don´t like, take a double look, we see it is in the OLD TESTAMENT and we sigh with relief!!! OH! Good! "I am not under the law".
My dear friend the books of the law of Moses are Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. That is all.
You may add: "I am under a new covenant". My friend, a new covenant...not a new God.
Bad news, no?
If you aren´t convinced, I strongly recommend you read the book of Revelations. Ignore the things you don´t understand. Just let your spirit be opened to God as God. A Just God. An almighty God. A wise God, who allows the worst of all rulers to rule AND to persecute those who love and honor God.

I know this is not a "popular message". Let me add one thing, it is a mystery:
My friend, as my eyes have been opened to God as God, my heart has entered into a type of peace that I had never experienced before.And the beauty of my relationship with Him is now beyond description.
So, I do share this out of obedience, but I do it in love and with joy. I share this with hope.

Oh, that your eyes may be opened to God as God!

Daniel 1:2

THE LORD ALLOWED THAT JOAKIM FELL
INTO THE HANDS OF NABUCHODONOSOR.
DANIEL 1:2

What is the use of having an almighty God who will allow the king of His people fall before another king?
What is the use of having an almighty God who allows pain in our lives?
I know you will be tempted to point out the fact that Joakim was living in sin, so he deserved it.
Fine, BUT what about Daniel?
He loved God!
Daniel was young when taken as a slave into Babylon. Take out a history book and read about Babylon the Great. Not necessarily the place I would like my own teenagers to grow up in.
Daniel loved God before he was taken as a slave. I can see it by the way he reacts to "social" preassure. He inmediatly decides to talk about the food he cannot eat!
Try to picture that. Young, a slave, taken far from your family and friends, and standing up boldly and saying "I cannot eat this, for it is against the law of my God"
WOW. I am a mother of 3 teenagers. How I have worried as I have seen them allowing things that are potentionally dangerous into their lives. What did his parents do right?
"Bea, Daniel was from Juda, remember? the people of God?"
Yeah, but you should read Jeremiah- sin was all about! Dear Daniel grew up in one of the dark ages of the church!!!! What a surprise! How dark? Just to give you an idea: the pastors and prophets were practicing prostitution and sorcery- that bad.
The almighty God who allows a young man, that loves Him, to grow up in a dark age of the church.
What kind of God is that?
The almighty God who allows a young man, that reads his Bible, to be taken as a slave into a horribly wordly nation.
What kind of God is that?

Lets make it worse.
Have you ever thought of the fact that the years that preceeded the fall of Joakim, were hard years?
That means that Daniel had to face years of political tension. Political tension...shouldn´t God have prevented that from happening in Daniel´s life? What kind of God do we have?

Can we make it any worse?
Read Lamentations. Years of hunger, and killings, war left nothing of a once prosperous and mighty kingdom. Daniel saw all that. He didn´t have a T.V. and a hamburguer. He had war. He must have been very young because he wasn´t in the army. He should have been playing ball- he was hiding from a bomb. What kind of God allows that? That the pastors, prophets and kings had gone into sin, was not his fault and he could do nothing to change them...Why God? Why him?

I am a mother. I fought so much to protect my kids from these sort of things. Why God? Why do you allow pain in our lives?...even if we are seeking you and trying to live right? Why do you allow us to be surrounded by sin?

Then we hit the answer. And it offends us so much.

God respects human will.

He respected Hitler´s will. OUCH.
He respects presidents' will to be corrupt.
He respects husbands' will to sin against their wives.
He respects wives' will to sin agains their families.
He respects children's will to sin against their parents.
EVENTHOUGH GOD KNOWS that sin brings forth death.

What sort of God is this?
What sort of God allows us to sin, eventhough He knows our decision will bring death into our lives and of innocent ones around?

This my friend, is exactly what makes God...God.
This my friend, is the difference between a fairy and God.
The Almighty One, respecting MY decision.
The God who allows ME to decide, and who does not stop the consequences of MY decision.

The God that allows.
What kind of God do we serve?
A God...that is God.

Luke 20:46-47

BEWARE ...(of doing things)
TO IMPRESS OTHERS.
LUKE 20:46-47

You should look it up complete in your Bible, but I decided to write only this so we wouldn´t be distracted. I don´t know if it happens to you but it happened to me that when I would hear Jesus talking about the Scribes, I would automatically shut off..."because I am not in that category, I am not religious"
what a laugh! such arrogant attitude came from my heart...and I still had the nerve to say I wasn´t religious!
Anyhow...
What I want to teach you today is one of the reasons why we do not like to read the Bible, and we don´t really want to draw THAT near to God.
We know we need God, so we are willing to draw near to a certain point. Enough so we feel safe to say: I am His child. But once we feel that safety then we set up a wall... "God that side is yours, this side is mine. ¿ok?"
Why? because if we go past this wall we find this kind of verses: God telling us NOT TO TRY TO IMPRESS OTHERS.
ohhhh!!!! But how I love to get other´s attention!
I mean...isn´t that what life is about? Ever since I was a baby I did tons of things "to get attention". I would cry, or smile,I would hear people saying "oh how cute!!!" so I would smile so more...
So now I am all puzzeled. Isn´t life about getting others´ attention? Sure, we "mature" and our ways of calling for attention can be more sofisticated, and if we are in church we can disguise them some way or another so we won´t be called "wordly"...but we are supposed to do it, I mean, how am I going to get people to support my ministry if I don´t have THEIR attention? And how am I suppose to attract the guy I like if I don´t have HIS attention? And how am I supposed to feel self-assured if I don´t have MY FRIENDS attention?

As I walked in obedience, I wondered more than a million times why God would ask me to do things that would turn people off. Not bad people. Good people. The kind of people that could be "key" for my ministry. They were people that could provide contacts, money or prayer. But it was precisely in front of such people that God would "lose His mind" and ask me to say something or do something that would blow their minds off.
I lost all chances, over and over again.

Did you know God is a jealous God. Terrifing thought
"Please Bea, don´t mention it, I don´t understand that part of God...please be quiet!" or "Bea don´t you know that God is love?"

I dare you to listen. Stop for once, don´t argue, just listen!and listen to all:
God is a jealous God.
God wants all of my attention.

Paul says:
If I were seeking to please others,
I wouldn´t be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

BUT didn´t Paul spend his life serving others? Loving? giving? interceeding?
YES- he did all of that, BUT
BUT BUT BUT BUT
HE DIDN´T DO IT TO CALL OTHERS´ATTENTION.

You see, once more I am talking about the heart. Paul´s main motivation was to please God- he wasn´t in ministry to get other´s approval, or their attention.
Paul went beyond.
Paul wanted to get God´s attention- and he did.

it makes sense doesn´t it?
It does until God asks you to do things that others don´t like...including your pastors, your relatives, and your friends. Then it can get rough. Real rough.

Then you have a choice: Whose attention do I want?
as we think of our decision lets remember Jesus´words:
BEWARE...(OF DOING THINGS) TO GET OTHERS' ATTENTION

BEWARE = danger implied.
Should we decide to impress other, we should be aware that it is dangerous and that death lays ahead.
So: BEWARE!

Exodus 4:24

ON THE JOURNEY, AT A PLACE WHERE THEY SPENT THE
NIGHT, THE LORD CAME UPON MOSES AND WOULD HAVE
KILLED HIM.
EXODUS 4:24

One of the Bible comments I read on this passage reads: This whole passage is very obscure.

ja ja ja ja ja ja

So much for the wisdom of men. Bible scholars often reach this point. And quickly jump to "you have to walk by faith". Intelectuals hate this talk and just brush the Bible aside.

That is one of the things we hate about God. Sorry, you are right I should speak for myself.
That is one of the things I hate about God. He makes a fool of me. My wisdom, no matter how high will alwasys be a laughing stock by His side.
God is God. I am not.

So much of Him is obscure to me. I hate that. He makes it so hard to evangelize. He does things in such a way that people will eventually come up to me and ask me "WHY?"
How am I supposed to know?
Why did God set out to kill Moses? Moses was obeing God.
Moses hadn´t circumcized his son...well, didn´t God know that when He spoke to him in the burning bush? Why didn´t He kill Moses then? or at least He could have pointed out the issue, so Moses could have gotten things in order before setting out to be the leader of Israel.
Perhaps He had told Moses...perhaps, I am sure Moses knew about it because of his wife´s reaction, well at least she was aware of it all. Perhaps she had mentioned it before and Moses hadn´t paid attention to her words- as husbands often do. Perhaps ...but we aren´t sure. And Moses was such a careful writer, he loved details. Have you noticed the description of the tabernacle, or of the journey through the desert?
Why didn´t Moses add a comment? A couple of words would have provided so much light!
I dare to think that the reason for such a gap is that Moses himself never got an answer.

No answers?
What kind of God do you serve?

A God that is God.

But Bea, you said God knew all, you said He had the answers!
and He does.
Last year I asked Him tons of questions, He answered them all- I didn´t necessarily like His answers- but answers I got.

And one of the answers I got was precisely this:
"Bea Gasca, understand once and for all.
I am God.
You cannot control me.
You cannot manipulate me.
You cannot create me according to your wishes.
You cannot ask me to submit to you.
You cannot limit me
I am God.
You are not."

GOD SET OUT TO KILL MOSES.
Perhaps this was God´s way of telling Moses, the same things He told me.
A little demonstration of Who God is. And what we are not.
Why did Moses write so little on it and yet he didn´t just push it aside?
Perhaps, because it is so complex to talk about God as God. And yet, because it was this moment and not the burning bush that really encouraged him to obey all the way through.
Perhaps, it is just a thought.
For I agree with the man that wrote the comentary on the Bible:
this whole passage is very obscure

but the fact that it is in the Bible surprises me not. For my eyes have been opened to this
"obscure" GOD
He is God. I am not.