Jeremia 13:17
BUT IF YOU DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS IN YOUR PRIDE,
I WILL WEEP IN SECRET MANY TEARS;
MY EYES WILL RUN WITH TEARS FOR THE LORD'S FLOCK,
LED AWAY TO EXILE.
Jeremia 13:17
Tears for the lost, the lonely and the poor.
Tears for God's pain.
Tears for not being able to explain that it is much more than simple emotions that move me.
Tears for understanding that people's reactions will often be of "you dramatize too much" or "you exagerate" or some sort of truth that seems to soften reality.
I sit here and know that many think I do not understand politics and the political moves that are stirring Bolivia right now.
But I understand. Just that I choose not to use this as an excuse to harden my heart to the truth that 80% of Bolivias population lives in poverty.
I also understand that there is little I can do. But I choose not to harden my heart.
Tears...so many tears, part of my tears are for the sheep of my flock.
WHERE IS THE FLOCK ENTRUSTED TO YOU,
THE SHEEP THAT WERE YOUR GLORY?
Jeremia 13:20
They are in exile. Spread apart. Striving to stay tuned with God but often feeling lonely and out of place. Often wondering why we have to be where we are and longing to be in a place that has filled their heart.
I look back at that special time. That season where the perfume of God was so close to us.
I look back to the times when we went to the hospital. Hard experience, but I remember looking at my flock with pride. Young, brave, kind hearted, reaching out to places they had never reached out. Not that it was simple. I remember having to hold several of them as they walked out, grieved and overwhelemed by what they saw. But it was nice to go into a room and see that someone was already there...I could move on and reach someone else. How God smiled those days. "Bea, today we were not only allowed to visit the people who were burnt, we were asked to help the nurse feed them, because they cannot move..." "Bea, there is a woman....can I help her?""Bea, I asked permission to come and pick some patients up on Sunday, to take them to church"....now tears stream down my face.
I look back at those days when we went in groups to visit street kids. Seeing them become one with the poor. Hearing Jimena Alarcon say: "Bea, it was incredible. There I was and suddenly I stood alone. There were so many of us that, I had no one to hold, no one to listen too, no one to care for... and as we were walking up to the clinic to get medical care for one of the street kids, I turned and saw the most beautiful sight. My kids (street kids) walking hand in hand with the kids from church (my kids). And Bea, I could feel Jesus walking in our midst... like He did with the apostles way back then...it was awesome, Bea!"...now tears stream down my face.
I look back at those days when I would spend time with them, trying to counsel them, or just plain loving them. "Bea, I am homesick. Can we have a cup of tea?" "Bea, I am in love. She does not know." "Bea, just give me a hug."... now tears stream down my face.
I look back at those days when we went to the jungle. Such an amazing trip. Paulita's comment on Eirunn "Bea, she would play with the kids even in the hot shinning sun! She was non stop, and there were so many bugs and she acted as if there were none!" Words spoken with love. And then again Jimena's words: "Bea, I went on this trip expecting it to be very much like the christian camps I have gone too. But it was so different! My faith has been restored! I believe in the church once more!" ... now tears stream down my face.
We tasted heaven. We breathed clouds. We were not walking on solid ground. It is so hard to explain, to really explain what it was like. What God gave us for a fraction of time in the midst of Bolivia's dark time, a time so similar like the one faced now...but now only tears stream down my face.
My flock has been sent to exile. We are not gathered together. In fact I do not know where most are. I wonder but do not dare ask if the ones in La Paz have gone out. I do not dare ask...it would crush my heart to hear that they have not.
But I would not blame them. We have all been thrown about in different and many ways. It has been a hard time, a long time, a dreadful time.
We did not hear God. We (leaders) were too full of pride...we lost it all...now only tears stream down my face.
I sit in silence and let memories flow. How could it be sooo good in such a bad time?
I sit in silence so more.
I let memories flow. I am so glad I obeyed in that time. So glad I lived those days. They are the days that will make my life weigh like gold.
I sit in silence so more.
I sigh.
I wipe some tears that get in the way, I need clear vision, I want only a small glimpse of what is to come. Do let me smell the fragance of a future filled with days like those...
Do let me smell the fragance of a future filled with days like those...with people like them, young and brave. Brave enough to obey. Brave enough to have faith filled hearts. Brave enough to go where we had never gone before. Brave enough to become my joy...and God's.
Daddy Lord,
I do not know where the flock that you gave me is now.
The flock that was/is my pride.
I lost them somewhere in the midst of that storm, the one that fell upon us
due to our pride.
Daddy Lord,
I do not know where they are.
But I am sure that they too are thinking back.
As they travel in time, may the seeds planted in their hearts those days grow.
May they grow tall and strong and bear much fruit. Tons of fruit.
Sweet fruit that you may taste and smile.
Daddy Lord,
I do not know where they are.
But please, hold them tight in your arms.
Confort them and ...hold them ever so tight.
Daddy Lord,
I pray for Claudia Gonzalez and Jimena Alarcon. Hold them tight.
and shorten the days of thier walking alone.
Daddy Lord,
Please...hold me tight. Keep my heart from breaking apart.
Allow it to remain alive, so I may part take in the future days when
tasting heaven and walking in clouds will be normal again.
One last thing God,
I cannot thank you enough for allowing me to part take of such a
splenderous time.
Thank you God. Thank you God. It has made my life worthwhile.
In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen.
ps. I love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots. amen.
I WILL WEEP IN SECRET MANY TEARS;
MY EYES WILL RUN WITH TEARS FOR THE LORD'S FLOCK,
LED AWAY TO EXILE.
Jeremia 13:17
Tears for the lost, the lonely and the poor.
Tears for God's pain.
Tears for not being able to explain that it is much more than simple emotions that move me.
Tears for understanding that people's reactions will often be of "you dramatize too much" or "you exagerate" or some sort of truth that seems to soften reality.
I sit here and know that many think I do not understand politics and the political moves that are stirring Bolivia right now.
But I understand. Just that I choose not to use this as an excuse to harden my heart to the truth that 80% of Bolivias population lives in poverty.
I also understand that there is little I can do. But I choose not to harden my heart.
Tears...so many tears, part of my tears are for the sheep of my flock.
WHERE IS THE FLOCK ENTRUSTED TO YOU,
THE SHEEP THAT WERE YOUR GLORY?
Jeremia 13:20
They are in exile. Spread apart. Striving to stay tuned with God but often feeling lonely and out of place. Often wondering why we have to be where we are and longing to be in a place that has filled their heart.
I look back at that special time. That season where the perfume of God was so close to us.
I look back to the times when we went to the hospital. Hard experience, but I remember looking at my flock with pride. Young, brave, kind hearted, reaching out to places they had never reached out. Not that it was simple. I remember having to hold several of them as they walked out, grieved and overwhelemed by what they saw. But it was nice to go into a room and see that someone was already there...I could move on and reach someone else. How God smiled those days. "Bea, today we were not only allowed to visit the people who were burnt, we were asked to help the nurse feed them, because they cannot move..." "Bea, there is a woman....can I help her?""Bea, I asked permission to come and pick some patients up on Sunday, to take them to church"....now tears stream down my face.
I look back at those days when we went in groups to visit street kids. Seeing them become one with the poor. Hearing Jimena Alarcon say: "Bea, it was incredible. There I was and suddenly I stood alone. There were so many of us that, I had no one to hold, no one to listen too, no one to care for... and as we were walking up to the clinic to get medical care for one of the street kids, I turned and saw the most beautiful sight. My kids (street kids) walking hand in hand with the kids from church (my kids). And Bea, I could feel Jesus walking in our midst... like He did with the apostles way back then...it was awesome, Bea!"...now tears stream down my face.
I look back at those days when I would spend time with them, trying to counsel them, or just plain loving them. "Bea, I am homesick. Can we have a cup of tea?" "Bea, I am in love. She does not know." "Bea, just give me a hug."... now tears stream down my face.
I look back at those days when we went to the jungle. Such an amazing trip. Paulita's comment on Eirunn "Bea, she would play with the kids even in the hot shinning sun! She was non stop, and there were so many bugs and she acted as if there were none!" Words spoken with love. And then again Jimena's words: "Bea, I went on this trip expecting it to be very much like the christian camps I have gone too. But it was so different! My faith has been restored! I believe in the church once more!" ... now tears stream down my face.
We tasted heaven. We breathed clouds. We were not walking on solid ground. It is so hard to explain, to really explain what it was like. What God gave us for a fraction of time in the midst of Bolivia's dark time, a time so similar like the one faced now...but now only tears stream down my face.
My flock has been sent to exile. We are not gathered together. In fact I do not know where most are. I wonder but do not dare ask if the ones in La Paz have gone out. I do not dare ask...it would crush my heart to hear that they have not.
But I would not blame them. We have all been thrown about in different and many ways. It has been a hard time, a long time, a dreadful time.
We did not hear God. We (leaders) were too full of pride...we lost it all...now only tears stream down my face.
I sit in silence and let memories flow. How could it be sooo good in such a bad time?
I sit in silence so more.
I let memories flow. I am so glad I obeyed in that time. So glad I lived those days. They are the days that will make my life weigh like gold.
I sit in silence so more.
I sigh.
I wipe some tears that get in the way, I need clear vision, I want only a small glimpse of what is to come. Do let me smell the fragance of a future filled with days like those...
Do let me smell the fragance of a future filled with days like those...with people like them, young and brave. Brave enough to obey. Brave enough to have faith filled hearts. Brave enough to go where we had never gone before. Brave enough to become my joy...and God's.
Daddy Lord,
I do not know where the flock that you gave me is now.
The flock that was/is my pride.
I lost them somewhere in the midst of that storm, the one that fell upon us
due to our pride.
Daddy Lord,
I do not know where they are.
But I am sure that they too are thinking back.
As they travel in time, may the seeds planted in their hearts those days grow.
May they grow tall and strong and bear much fruit. Tons of fruit.
Sweet fruit that you may taste and smile.
Daddy Lord,
I do not know where they are.
But please, hold them tight in your arms.
Confort them and ...hold them ever so tight.
Daddy Lord,
I pray for Claudia Gonzalez and Jimena Alarcon. Hold them tight.
and shorten the days of thier walking alone.
Daddy Lord,
Please...hold me tight. Keep my heart from breaking apart.
Allow it to remain alive, so I may part take in the future days when
tasting heaven and walking in clouds will be normal again.
One last thing God,
I cannot thank you enough for allowing me to part take of such a
splenderous time.
Thank you God. Thank you God. It has made my life worthwhile.
In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen.
ps. I love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots. amen.
posted by thisfool @ 11:27 AM
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