Genesis 1:31
GOD SAW THAT ALL HE HAD MADE WAS VERY GOOD.
Genesis 1:31
I see these words and I want to cry.
For years I have slandered the creation of my God, the one Who has loved me like no other has.
For years I have looked down upon men.
It is hard when God brings light into your heart. Not easy at all.
This morning He rebuked me strongly. He made it clear that men are part of His creation. They are part of what God calls "VERY good."
He went on to tell me how my foolish mind had taken me to take away from a great, great man: my dad.
this is hard...
okey...here we go.
My dad was a prophet. I now know and understand that many times prophets have to go into hidding in order to stay alive- I learned that out of my own experience. My dad had to do the same. BUT I grew up in Mexico- world famous for its Macho Men. And somewhere in my mind it did not add up well for my dad to hide. That was not what a man should do. He should go up to the pastor and punch out all his teeth... my daddy didn't, so I took honor away from him. I just decided that he wasn't worthy of being honored.
My dad was soft and gentle in his manner. When hurt He turned to God to find healing and strenght. He was extremely kind and patient...something I now wish I had. But somewhere in the midst of our stormy world, it was hard to admire people like that. And it was hard to honor them....I thought. I now begin to understand that such virtues belong to a Godly man.
I feel sick to my stomach. I really do. I really do. I have tried to live my life with such lies somewhere in my mind, ruling me secretly and destroying so many things out of foolishness. Total foolishness.
awful isn't it?
"BEA you were a fool!"
I know
"You should really hate yourself for it!"
NOPE.
I won't. I have a saviour. He has granted me His forgiveness and He is restoring my mind and my heart. Not only towards my dad but towards all men...including pastors and my own sons.
Oh, yeah. My foolishness has had an effect on my relationship with pastors (mostly men) and with my ex-husband and with my sons.
I feel sick and sad, very sad to face all the destruction that my foolishness has brought. This is the hard part of facing sin. But I rather face it and yank it out than to continue living under its rule. I want to harvest something preaty someday. Something sweet. I must uproot sin. I msut face sin. I must look at it and ask God to clean me ever so deep. My mind, my heart.
The smell of having a wrong perspective on men, AND taking honor away from them AND looking down on them is terrible. I am about to throw up.
Wonder how God dares to hug me... makes me be amazed at His love.
It hurts Him. It really does, when we make those jokes that slander women or men.
"STOP!" he shouts "please stop! Don't you see the beauty of my creation? Are you so blind?"
He is not angry, He is hurt. Deeply hurt.
I feel bad...all these years....and you know what is the worst part of all?
The worst part is that "I have dealt with this area before"
I am sad, for God, for all.
THIS IS THE STORY OF THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH AND THEIR CREATION.
WHEN THE LORD GOD MADE THE EARTH AND THE HEAVEN.
THERE WAS NOT YET ANY FIELD SHRUB ON THE EARTH NOR HAD THE PLANTS OF THE FIELD SPRUNG UP, FOR THE LORD GOD HAD SENT NO RAIN ON THE EARTH AND THERE WAS NO MAN TO TILL THE SOIL; BUT A MIST ROSE FROM THE EARTH AND WATERED ALL THE SURFACE OF THE GROUND. THEN THE LORD GOD FORMED MAN OUT OF THE DUST OF THE GROUND AND BREATHED INTO HIS NOSTRILS THE BREATH OF LIFE, AND MAN BECAME A LIVING BEING.
Gen 2:4 -7
These are words spoken with much love... can you feel the love in these verses?
"Father,
I need you today. I need you to deeply and completly restore my mind.
Please take me to that place where I will be able to look at men and women and say:
It is good.
Please Lord, make me a new creation so later you will be able to say:
it is good.
I am sorry I hurt you so deeply and for so long.
I am absolutely sorry. I repent. make me anew.
This I pray in Jesus' name.
Amen"
Genesis 1:31
I see these words and I want to cry.
For years I have slandered the creation of my God, the one Who has loved me like no other has.
For years I have looked down upon men.
It is hard when God brings light into your heart. Not easy at all.
This morning He rebuked me strongly. He made it clear that men are part of His creation. They are part of what God calls "VERY good."
He went on to tell me how my foolish mind had taken me to take away from a great, great man: my dad.
this is hard...
okey...here we go.
My dad was a prophet. I now know and understand that many times prophets have to go into hidding in order to stay alive- I learned that out of my own experience. My dad had to do the same. BUT I grew up in Mexico- world famous for its Macho Men. And somewhere in my mind it did not add up well for my dad to hide. That was not what a man should do. He should go up to the pastor and punch out all his teeth... my daddy didn't, so I took honor away from him. I just decided that he wasn't worthy of being honored.
My dad was soft and gentle in his manner. When hurt He turned to God to find healing and strenght. He was extremely kind and patient...something I now wish I had. But somewhere in the midst of our stormy world, it was hard to admire people like that. And it was hard to honor them....I thought. I now begin to understand that such virtues belong to a Godly man.
I feel sick to my stomach. I really do. I really do. I have tried to live my life with such lies somewhere in my mind, ruling me secretly and destroying so many things out of foolishness. Total foolishness.
awful isn't it?
"BEA you were a fool!"
I know
"You should really hate yourself for it!"
NOPE.
I won't. I have a saviour. He has granted me His forgiveness and He is restoring my mind and my heart. Not only towards my dad but towards all men...including pastors and my own sons.
Oh, yeah. My foolishness has had an effect on my relationship with pastors (mostly men) and with my ex-husband and with my sons.
I feel sick and sad, very sad to face all the destruction that my foolishness has brought. This is the hard part of facing sin. But I rather face it and yank it out than to continue living under its rule. I want to harvest something preaty someday. Something sweet. I must uproot sin. I msut face sin. I must look at it and ask God to clean me ever so deep. My mind, my heart.
The smell of having a wrong perspective on men, AND taking honor away from them AND looking down on them is terrible. I am about to throw up.
Wonder how God dares to hug me... makes me be amazed at His love.
It hurts Him. It really does, when we make those jokes that slander women or men.
"STOP!" he shouts "please stop! Don't you see the beauty of my creation? Are you so blind?"
He is not angry, He is hurt. Deeply hurt.
I feel bad...all these years....and you know what is the worst part of all?
The worst part is that "I have dealt with this area before"
I am sad, for God, for all.
THIS IS THE STORY OF THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH AND THEIR CREATION.
WHEN THE LORD GOD MADE THE EARTH AND THE HEAVEN.
THERE WAS NOT YET ANY FIELD SHRUB ON THE EARTH NOR HAD THE PLANTS OF THE FIELD SPRUNG UP, FOR THE LORD GOD HAD SENT NO RAIN ON THE EARTH AND THERE WAS NO MAN TO TILL THE SOIL; BUT A MIST ROSE FROM THE EARTH AND WATERED ALL THE SURFACE OF THE GROUND. THEN THE LORD GOD FORMED MAN OUT OF THE DUST OF THE GROUND AND BREATHED INTO HIS NOSTRILS THE BREATH OF LIFE, AND MAN BECAME A LIVING BEING.
Gen 2:4 -7
These are words spoken with much love... can you feel the love in these verses?
"Father,
I need you today. I need you to deeply and completly restore my mind.
Please take me to that place where I will be able to look at men and women and say:
It is good.
Please Lord, make me a new creation so later you will be able to say:
it is good.
I am sorry I hurt you so deeply and for so long.
I am absolutely sorry. I repent. make me anew.
This I pray in Jesus' name.
Amen"
posted by thisfool @ 5:05 AM
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