Wisdom 1:2
BECAUSE HE IS FOUND BY THOSE WHO TEST HIM NOT,
AND HE MANIFETS HIMSELF TO THOSE WHO DO NOT DISBELIEVE HIM.
Sabiduría 1:2
"Bea, why did you write 3o people?" (in the previous blog when I wrote about hoping for a group of friends that would stand by each other no matter what)
- "Well, because when I went to the jungle that is the number of people that I went to with, and I saw it was a good amount of people ...not too many."
"Child, that is not true. You wrote 30 because you do not believe it is possible for hundreds and thousands to be cleansed and transformed. You do not believe me."
silence. I know that His discipline brings life, so I choose to listen to His correction.
He shows me a picture. I see a person who is infected with some tropical deisease. many tropical diseases are like this. The person is being eaten up by some worms...alive. It is true, you see people moving and walking and even laughing but they are being eaten alive in some part of their body. They show you that part and flesh is missing, and they smell bad. Of course if they go on unattended they will eventually die.
Such is my condition.
I need a miracle.
"why do you have only a certain number of people in your prayer list, Bea?"
- "If I should add one more, the load would become too heavy."
"you are right. You are sick and this makes you weak. I understand and it is okey that you do only a certain amount for know. But Bea you must face the unbelief in your heart or it will eventually kill you. You will continue to reduce the number of people in your list, and then one day nobody will be in your list. And your heart will grow cold, cold as ice."
I take a deep breath and take a step forward. Okey Lord, open my eyes, show me the sin in my heart.
He does. Soon I am crying and crying and crying. "I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry..."
I think of Christopher Columbus and how people laughed at him when he spoke about the earth being round. And I felt that I was in the number of people who mocked and laughed, except that this time...I was laughing at God.
God showed me people. One by one. Names and faces. "You do not believe he/she will change"
Worse than that I saw in my heart that there were people that I was angry at so I even hoped they would not change, that way their sin would lead them to destruction.
Open my eyes Lord. Let me face sin.
God continued to show me ... a plagued soul with unbelief.
The bad smell increases as God continues to unwrap the different spots in my heart.
"See here...you do not believe."
"and here...you do not believe."
"you do not believe."
I quietly open my eyes bigger and bigger as I see a gruelsome picture of my soul.
"What did I believe?" I secretly wonder how come I am alive.
Please do not judge me.
I am a sinner, I am sick, I do not need judgement ...I need of a savior.
I fall to my knees with my tears streaming down my cheeks. "God if there is anything to be done...if there is still room for a miracle...if it is not too late..if there is still sometthing that can be done..."
I hear one answer.
I hear one word:
REPENT
AND HE MANIFETS HIMSELF TO THOSE WHO DO NOT DISBELIEVE HIM.
Sabiduría 1:2
"Bea, why did you write 3o people?" (in the previous blog when I wrote about hoping for a group of friends that would stand by each other no matter what)
- "Well, because when I went to the jungle that is the number of people that I went to with, and I saw it was a good amount of people ...not too many."
"Child, that is not true. You wrote 30 because you do not believe it is possible for hundreds and thousands to be cleansed and transformed. You do not believe me."
silence. I know that His discipline brings life, so I choose to listen to His correction.
He shows me a picture. I see a person who is infected with some tropical deisease. many tropical diseases are like this. The person is being eaten up by some worms...alive. It is true, you see people moving and walking and even laughing but they are being eaten alive in some part of their body. They show you that part and flesh is missing, and they smell bad. Of course if they go on unattended they will eventually die.
Such is my condition.
I need a miracle.
"why do you have only a certain number of people in your prayer list, Bea?"
- "If I should add one more, the load would become too heavy."
"you are right. You are sick and this makes you weak. I understand and it is okey that you do only a certain amount for know. But Bea you must face the unbelief in your heart or it will eventually kill you. You will continue to reduce the number of people in your list, and then one day nobody will be in your list. And your heart will grow cold, cold as ice."
I take a deep breath and take a step forward. Okey Lord, open my eyes, show me the sin in my heart.
He does. Soon I am crying and crying and crying. "I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry..."
I think of Christopher Columbus and how people laughed at him when he spoke about the earth being round. And I felt that I was in the number of people who mocked and laughed, except that this time...I was laughing at God.
God showed me people. One by one. Names and faces. "You do not believe he/she will change"
Worse than that I saw in my heart that there were people that I was angry at so I even hoped they would not change, that way their sin would lead them to destruction.
Open my eyes Lord. Let me face sin.
God continued to show me ... a plagued soul with unbelief.
The bad smell increases as God continues to unwrap the different spots in my heart.
"See here...you do not believe."
"and here...you do not believe."
"you do not believe."
I quietly open my eyes bigger and bigger as I see a gruelsome picture of my soul.
"What did I believe?" I secretly wonder how come I am alive.
Please do not judge me.
I am a sinner, I am sick, I do not need judgement ...I need of a savior.
I fall to my knees with my tears streaming down my cheeks. "God if there is anything to be done...if there is still room for a miracle...if it is not too late..if there is still sometthing that can be done..."
I hear one answer.
I hear one word:
REPENT
posted by thisfool @ 2:55 AM
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