biblereflections

Thursday, April 28, 2005

II Peter 1:2b

MAY GRACE AND PEACE BE GIVEN YOU IN ABUNDANCE
IN THE KNOWLEDGE OF OUR LORD.
II Peter 1:2b

I know it is the same verse, but even though I reached the conclusion that my lack of peace is due to my choice of not sitting long enough before God in order to hear Him speak of each situation in a clear way...and this remaing to be true...

I cannot help wondering:

DO I REALLY KNOW GOD?

I mean,
Do I REALLY, REALLY know God?

and part of me answers:
If you really know God...why are you afraid?

even if you haven't heard Him speak...if you knew Him, wouldn't you be in peace?
I mean...
If you really knew Him, you would know that you have no reason to be afraid.

He is almighty and He loves you.
He is wise and He loves you.
He is God and He loves you.

one thing I am to fear, and that is God...aside this fear NO other fear should abide in my heart..
so I ask myself once more:

Do I really know God?

"God,
I am no genious, yet I can tell I do not know you...not really.
and you know what, I would like to know you well.
I am sorry for not spending more time with you...I get distracted so easily.
I am sory God.
I am sorry.
I do not know how I suddently am so busy and so distracted, that I lose my focus.
God, you are my portion, you are my alll.
I now want to stop and readjust my time, and I want to push so many silly things aside.
I want to know you God. i want to know you more thatn anyghing else in this world...even more thatn going to Norway of seeing my boys. I want to know you. I want to know you. I watn to know you God.
Asking you to open my eyes to your beauty seems an offense, since you have done so much to get me to this place...including the cross. God I know that if I am now "blind" it is mainly because I myself cover my eyes with my own hands. I rush on to do things, instead of taking that blood bought place, the one near you, so I may see your face.
you are a ferarful God...so I choose to run off and serve you instead of observing you.
How wise you were in linking real peace with knowledge of God.
Now I am obliged to face you, my dear fearsome God...for I have lost my peace, since the moment I chose to turn my face away from your fearsomeness.
God, I know take courage and choose to take my place, my blood bought place near you, so near that I may see your face.
Thank you Jesus for the cross, I make this prayer in your name.
Amen"