II Peter 2:29
THEY PROMISE THEM FREEDOM,
WHEREAS THEY THEMSELVES ARE THE SLAVES OF CORRUPTION;
FOR BY WHATEVER A MAN IS OVERCOME,OF THIS ALSO HE IS THE SLAVE.
II Peter 2:29
So many things are beginning to be clearer and clearer. If one takes the time to listen God speaks...but we must take time. This dialogue started year ago and hasn't ended! it takes time.
I receiveda lot of correction on my own heart, and the work of a new heart has not yet finished, but this season has been making the other side of the coin clear...how the sin of others has had an importan role in all of what I have had to go through. And one specific sin He has been pointing out is envy.
What a terrible sin it is..it can turn anybody into a monster...into a murderer. Envy ...
As I have analyzed specific situations in the past I have met envy over and over and over again.
In schools I would teach with passion, doing things right, and ...envy would soon become part of the picture and things would become unbearable. Even the principal would feel threatened by my performance...I was so naive, I promise that I never understood what was going on. "But it is for the school's own benefit...I am not doing something bad... ????? I do not understand!" And I cried, feeling rejected and wondering what I had done wrong, perhaps the wrong attitude..had I been proud? (yes, there was some of that too...but not enough to really justify the hatred and vicious attitudes from the rest)
Once I lived in a small neighboorhood, I thought it was the perfect situation to create a friendly environment. One day I planted some trees. The next morning they were all broken inhalf! That is one sight I will never forget. I stood there, not understanding ...why? who? why?..
I did not give up, I tried years and years to make that little place into a nice place. If grafity would appear I would go and clean it up, even if it wasn't my house. I got some kids into cleaning the park, and there were some adults involved too. We tried and tried and tried...it was always the same. Envy grew and grew, the reactions were harsher and harsher...until I gave up. I gave up. And then people would meet me in the street and tell me "oh, the park is in bad shape, why don't you gather people to put it back in shape?" I was not sure as what to answer. I did not understand that envy was my enemy and that it is such a strong enemy..so I would say "I am busy with other things"
So I ended up teaching private classes, where I can fight to do my best...my own students being the ones to complain..."we cannot keep up the pace", but at least there is a bigger chance to do things right and I do not have to face the resentment from those around. Envy.
And I ended concentrating my efforts in my own house, painting my own house, caring for my own plants. Again, I did not have to fight with envy in such a direct way.
I am now stronger, wanting to fly, but I keep thinking where and how...this revelation is so important to me!!! I am most thankful to God. I still do not have the answers, but I have understood what is really keeping me back. Envy is all about.
Envy is part of the church.
I really do not know what my next step will be like. I am analyzing the past. I do not want it to be the same. Putting love and energy into something, not even caring for a good pay, and then getting kicked and pushed aside out of envy.
Part of my family has a circus. True. hmm...maybe I should join them for a season, that should be most enlightning...Anyhow... Walking on the tight rope is one of the shows that is most artistic, at the same time it is most dangerous and thus challenging. You combine danger, and guts to produce art...wow. Sometimes even two people walk on the rope simultaneously... sheer magesty!
That is what ministry should be like. Taking the light to people who live in darkness is dangerous and challenging. You have to concentrate and keep your balance...as you join God in the tune of His heart art is produced, a wonderful sight.
Oh! and if another should join you in such an attempt...what a glorious event!!! Two people on the same rope with a lighted torch in their hands, tunning in with God's song! Sheer majesty...a sight worth paying for.
But saddly envy is still a bigger master of our hearts than God himself.
We promise people freedom, but we remain slaves of envy.
So what it really ends up like is:
One is walking on the rope, tense but enjoying the thrill. Then somebody starts to go up the ladder "I will join you!" he shouts. At first you are happy and welcome him in, but as he climbs up you get a glimpse of his eyes, they are not pure, his heart has mixed motivations. Your heart begins to thump faster, this is not good. This is not good.
Now the beauty is gone. You cannot really tune into God's song, you are keeping an eye on this new guy. He has the experience (some do not even have that) you can tell as he steps on the rope. But He wants to shine, he wants to be the one to have the attention. So he begins to do things to call attention to himself. You say "I do not care, I am fine, you have the attention, I will focus on God" And you struggle to get the tune back, and there you are in your struggle- no longer a magnificent nor artistic act. It has become a simple survival task.
Now you begin to recall all sorts of gory stories that you have heard in the past. Stories that told of how such a guy had actually pushed his companion of the rope, saying later it was a mere accident, and now evidence found to put him in jail.
You gulp, you kind of look at God, not only do you not hear the song, now even seeing Him is hard. Your sweat gets in your eyes and He is a blurry sight. "How did I get here in the first place? I was safe down there, sitting with the crowd. And yes, at first it was fun to be up here, but now...."
Envy it kills. It has killed people and it has killed revivals and it has killed simple fun.
Envy kills.
Do we really want change? in society? in church? in our hearts?
Well, this is a good place to start.
Kill envy in your own heart.
and be cautios of envy in the world about. Be cautious.
WHEREAS THEY THEMSELVES ARE THE SLAVES OF CORRUPTION;
FOR BY WHATEVER A MAN IS OVERCOME,OF THIS ALSO HE IS THE SLAVE.
II Peter 2:29
So many things are beginning to be clearer and clearer. If one takes the time to listen God speaks...but we must take time. This dialogue started year ago and hasn't ended! it takes time.
I receiveda lot of correction on my own heart, and the work of a new heart has not yet finished, but this season has been making the other side of the coin clear...how the sin of others has had an importan role in all of what I have had to go through. And one specific sin He has been pointing out is envy.
What a terrible sin it is..it can turn anybody into a monster...into a murderer. Envy ...
As I have analyzed specific situations in the past I have met envy over and over and over again.
In schools I would teach with passion, doing things right, and ...envy would soon become part of the picture and things would become unbearable. Even the principal would feel threatened by my performance...I was so naive, I promise that I never understood what was going on. "But it is for the school's own benefit...I am not doing something bad... ????? I do not understand!" And I cried, feeling rejected and wondering what I had done wrong, perhaps the wrong attitude..had I been proud? (yes, there was some of that too...but not enough to really justify the hatred and vicious attitudes from the rest)
Once I lived in a small neighboorhood, I thought it was the perfect situation to create a friendly environment. One day I planted some trees. The next morning they were all broken inhalf! That is one sight I will never forget. I stood there, not understanding ...why? who? why?..
I did not give up, I tried years and years to make that little place into a nice place. If grafity would appear I would go and clean it up, even if it wasn't my house. I got some kids into cleaning the park, and there were some adults involved too. We tried and tried and tried...it was always the same. Envy grew and grew, the reactions were harsher and harsher...until I gave up. I gave up. And then people would meet me in the street and tell me "oh, the park is in bad shape, why don't you gather people to put it back in shape?" I was not sure as what to answer. I did not understand that envy was my enemy and that it is such a strong enemy..so I would say "I am busy with other things"
So I ended up teaching private classes, where I can fight to do my best...my own students being the ones to complain..."we cannot keep up the pace", but at least there is a bigger chance to do things right and I do not have to face the resentment from those around. Envy.
And I ended concentrating my efforts in my own house, painting my own house, caring for my own plants. Again, I did not have to fight with envy in such a direct way.
I am now stronger, wanting to fly, but I keep thinking where and how...this revelation is so important to me!!! I am most thankful to God. I still do not have the answers, but I have understood what is really keeping me back. Envy is all about.
Envy is part of the church.
I really do not know what my next step will be like. I am analyzing the past. I do not want it to be the same. Putting love and energy into something, not even caring for a good pay, and then getting kicked and pushed aside out of envy.
Part of my family has a circus. True. hmm...maybe I should join them for a season, that should be most enlightning...Anyhow... Walking on the tight rope is one of the shows that is most artistic, at the same time it is most dangerous and thus challenging. You combine danger, and guts to produce art...wow. Sometimes even two people walk on the rope simultaneously... sheer magesty!
That is what ministry should be like. Taking the light to people who live in darkness is dangerous and challenging. You have to concentrate and keep your balance...as you join God in the tune of His heart art is produced, a wonderful sight.
Oh! and if another should join you in such an attempt...what a glorious event!!! Two people on the same rope with a lighted torch in their hands, tunning in with God's song! Sheer majesty...a sight worth paying for.
But saddly envy is still a bigger master of our hearts than God himself.
We promise people freedom, but we remain slaves of envy.
So what it really ends up like is:
One is walking on the rope, tense but enjoying the thrill. Then somebody starts to go up the ladder "I will join you!" he shouts. At first you are happy and welcome him in, but as he climbs up you get a glimpse of his eyes, they are not pure, his heart has mixed motivations. Your heart begins to thump faster, this is not good. This is not good.
Now the beauty is gone. You cannot really tune into God's song, you are keeping an eye on this new guy. He has the experience (some do not even have that) you can tell as he steps on the rope. But He wants to shine, he wants to be the one to have the attention. So he begins to do things to call attention to himself. You say "I do not care, I am fine, you have the attention, I will focus on God" And you struggle to get the tune back, and there you are in your struggle- no longer a magnificent nor artistic act. It has become a simple survival task.
Now you begin to recall all sorts of gory stories that you have heard in the past. Stories that told of how such a guy had actually pushed his companion of the rope, saying later it was a mere accident, and now evidence found to put him in jail.
You gulp, you kind of look at God, not only do you not hear the song, now even seeing Him is hard. Your sweat gets in your eyes and He is a blurry sight. "How did I get here in the first place? I was safe down there, sitting with the crowd. And yes, at first it was fun to be up here, but now...."
Envy it kills. It has killed people and it has killed revivals and it has killed simple fun.
Envy kills.
Do we really want change? in society? in church? in our hearts?
Well, this is a good place to start.
Kill envy in your own heart.
and be cautios of envy in the world about. Be cautious.
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